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Are we aligned? damookster Send a noteboard - 23/05/2019 06:07:06 PM

Welcome to today's business buzzword rant. As always, the opinions expressed herein are solely those of the writer and if any are offended they can suck it.

The business jargon word of the day is "aligned." Can you say aligned? I think you can.

This word has become ubiquitous on the endless repetitive conference calls I must suffer through each work day. Meetings are not to seek consensus. Alignment is what we now strive to achieve. When we request sign-off on a solution, we ask, "Are you aligned?" No one says, "I agree" anymore, or "yes, I approve." Rather, "I'm aligned," or just "aligned."

I have begun to detest the sound of the word. I'm at the point that if I went to buy four new tires, I would ask for the free camber and caster adjustment. Never, ever the free wheel alignment.

Let's not stop here. There's still more! Why oh why does the person leading the call inevitably say something like, "I'm hearing that if we blah, blah, blah, then blah, blah blah will be the result." Yes. We heard that as well. Evidently, your ears are functioning just fine. Oh that wasn't your point? You want clarification? To make sure you didn't misunderstand? So, there was a question lurking in there? Well why not fucking say so????




"Mookie often gives us multiples."

Sareitha Sedai 07/18/2017
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Are we aligned? - 23/05/2019 06:07:06 PM 383 Views
Never heard that one - 23/05/2019 06:28:23 PM 106 Views
Agreed - 23/05/2019 07:30:16 PM 90 Views
I'm laughing with you, and not at you. - 23/05/2019 06:33:53 PM 112 Views
We're aligned *NM* - 23/05/2019 07:32:42 PM 42 Views
Yeah, now that I think about it, I do see (and use) that one a lot... - 23/05/2019 08:27:50 PM 112 Views
This makes me wonder... - 23/05/2019 09:20:56 PM 120 Views
Hm. A lot of the time we just use the English ones, really. - 23/05/2019 10:23:42 PM 104 Views
Interesting - 23/05/2019 10:42:26 PM 108 Views
They are trying to hypnotise you. - 23/05/2019 09:02:52 PM 100 Views
Nothing. - 23/05/2019 09:25:16 PM 88 Views
Woe Why do we have ethanol fuel subsidies again? - 23/05/2019 11:12:12 PM 81 Views
Thank all gods everywhere that I haven't had that one inflicted on me yet. - 24/05/2019 03:51:10 PM 86 Views
maybe you can introduce it to your coworkers - 24/05/2019 04:42:58 PM 88 Views
Next time, tell them you're a member of this. - 24/05/2019 06:56:02 PM 113 Views
That's me! Non-aligned. *NM* - 24/05/2019 06:59:21 PM 51 Views
So are we Aligned? I ask not of me and work, but instead the UK and the EU? *NM* - 26/05/2019 11:43:12 PM 47 Views
No - 29/05/2019 04:55:11 AM 100 Views
You tell 'im, daddy! *NM* - 29/05/2019 05:49:24 PM 43 Views
*NM* - 30/05/2019 12:38:10 PM 57 Views
*NM* - 30/05/2019 03:27:21 PM 48 Views
Not quite. Lift your ass a little bit. - 30/05/2019 12:51:00 AM 108 Views
+1 *NM* - 02/06/2019 05:34:01 PM 52 Views

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