with NFL commentators and their incessant stupid cliches. When was it decided that sports announcer jargon would become a thing, like business speak? And, like business speak, it is obviously extremely contagious.

For example...

Offensive and defensive coordinators no longer design and call plays. They "dial them up." This idiotic phrase is used to encompass both of those functions. Logically then, when a new coordinator is hired and the head coach assigns them the responsibility to call the plays, shouldn't that title now be Offensive or Defensive Play Dialer? Or Play Dialer-Upper? How exactly does one dial up a play call or design? Is an old fashioned rotary phone involved? Or perhaps some sort of rheostat, marked off in increments for the increasing complexity of the design?

Another ubiquitous cliche is used to describe the rapid change of direction often employed by a running back or wide receiver to elude defensive pursuit. In the past, this was referred to as a "cut." Example: "The runner made a quick cut to his left causing the linebacker to miss the tackle." Simple, one little word. For whatever reason, this has been replaced by "stick or stuck his foot in the ground." I'm sorry but stuck his foot in the ground makes me visualize someone whose boot is enveloped by mud. Or who stepped in a hole. But every broadcaster now says this, regardless of its stupidity.

I could list other equally horrible examples, but rather than do so I'd rather rant on about the underlying cause. Sports commentators universally never know when to Shut The Fuck Up. It's as if they think NFL football's popularity in the US has been driven by viewers dying to hang on every word from the Chris Collinsworths, Mark Schlereths, and Moose Johnsons of the world. Guess what? It isn't.

Let the goddamm game breathe. We don't need you to tell us that, "time is getting short for the trailing team, they really need to score soon!" Or, "It's makes it more difficult for the offense to succeed when you're always in third and long." How about, "it challenges the defense when they have to worry about both the run and the pass." Also, 'they really need to get a stop here." "It's time for (fill in the blank) to dial up something special."

No shit.

It has reached a point where more often than not, I watch the games with the sound muted and only turn it on when something happens I want to hear about.

</end rant>