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You know what I think. I definitely have spoilers. nossy Send a noteboard - 04/01/2014 07:23:52 PM

I went into the movie prepared to relax and enjoy the silliness, but I still found much of it almost unwatchable. Aside from a few scenes that I enjoyed (spiders were creepy and not overly ridiculous, woods ditto, some of the acting/actors, <3 Freeman, the intro to Smaug, some of Gandalf being impressive), I mostly could not stop being annoyed with one thing before something else happened got me going again.

I never think of myself as a purist, but I couldn't handle so many stupid diversions. I almost flopped out of my seat in a temper when they "met" Beorn. I can understand why they chose to handle him that way, and I think I could've lived with it if there hadn't been so many other ridiculous things. And I'm not counting the additions - Tauriel was fine, Gandalf-on-quest was fine - because you can't ruin something that didn't exist previously. It's everything else.

Would barrels float if repeatedly dunked under water, presumably filling with water? Gimli was so awesome because he was clumsy, clunky and small, but still managed to be a badass. In some ways, these dwarves are given Elvish powers (ie: Bombur? in the twirling barrel of terror, who then jumps into an empty one), then in the next moment they are slapstick morons.

Thorin rode an apparently heat-insulated wheelbarrow down a channel of molten gold...

They blew up a massive statue of a golden dwarf king that they all somehow knew the location of, and exactly what to do to melt it on Smaug (who was then immediately brown again, and went to kill humans!) I swear to god, I'm getting angry again just thinking about it. Maybe Legolas could balance on top of a barrel-bobbing dwarf's head, but should he? Should he?

I don't mind goofy movies; hell, Ice Pirates is one of my favorite flicks. I guess I couldn't quite manage my expectations, because I could NOT get over the implausibility of damn near every action scene. And I really wanted to like them.

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The Hobbit - The Desolation of Smaug - 13/12/2013 10:03:50 AM 1529 Views
Sorry, two-legged dragons are just goofy, even if they did the best they could with that limitation - 13/12/2013 11:13:34 PM 795 Views
I'm glad I am not the only person who cares about that. - 15/12/2013 08:41:48 AM 728 Views
I don't care whether dragons have "hands" or not, as long as it meets all other draconic reqs. - 15/12/2013 02:16:15 PM 852 Views
Agreed - 15/12/2013 03:48:13 PM 636 Views
I'm not looking for "hands." - 15/12/2013 03:48:26 PM 765 Views
The entire concept of a wyvern is a fairly recent one. - 16/12/2013 04:48:15 PM 721 Views
I especially liked Thranduil's scenes. *minor spoilers* - 13/12/2013 11:25:30 PM 703 Views
such a good physical match for Legolas - 14/12/2013 01:22:21 AM 936 Views
Thought he looked more elf than Elrond and Galadriel put together. - 14/12/2013 07:13:00 AM 851 Views
He's also in my favorite movie, The Fall - 16/12/2013 06:03:22 PM 1230 Views
Re: The Hobbit - The Desolation of Smaug - 14/12/2013 01:17:51 AM 915 Views
So how is the new female elf they introduce "Tauriel" - 14/12/2013 05:34:56 AM 758 Views
I liked her - 14/12/2013 10:43:22 AM 702 Views
A lot of reviews said she was one of the best parts of the movie - 16/12/2013 06:05:50 PM 914 Views
You know what I think. I definitely have spoilers. - 04/01/2014 07:23:52 PM 719 Views
No point in arguing about such things, of course - 04/01/2014 09:51:07 PM 603 Views
This is true. - 04/01/2014 11:22:51 PM 638 Views
This. What Jen said. *NM* - 05/01/2014 10:28:46 AM 311 Views
"Hamster", not "Hampster". - 05/01/2014 05:28:48 PM 638 Views
It's a Gerbil from the Hamptons. - 05/01/2014 08:11:39 PM 623 Views
I'm going to watch it at some point, but ... - 04/01/2014 10:32:15 PM 797 Views
EXACTLY. - 04/01/2014 11:38:54 PM 715 Views
Ah...Ice Pirates...an underrated classic of the 1980s. - 05/01/2014 05:27:04 PM 651 Views
Underrated? - 05/01/2014 08:14:45 PM 650 Views
The golden statue - 06/01/2014 05:55:31 PM 1004 Views
...that doesn't make me feel better. - 07/01/2014 06:41:01 PM 688 Views
Fat dwarves can roll a 20 too, you know? - 07/01/2014 07:01:17 PM 695 Views
I've been looking at this all wrong. *NM* - 07/01/2014 08:42:47 PM 344 Views

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