Only most of the time Rand knows that's what he's doing, he just sees it something that needs done, and beats himself up over it later.
With Egwene... Most of the time she ether sees it as only right, as their fault in the first place, or she just plane doesn't even get why their upset.
There's a difference between "circumstances demanded it" and "just doesn't really get what the word "friend" means", and Most of the time Egwene's view of "friend" is "whoever is most useful to me at the time".
While the first part is true, I think a trait of a strong leader is to feel a degree of remorse for what they are having to do, but to not beat themselves up over it like Rand does. In this respect, I think this actually makes Egwene a stronger leader.
Regarding "friend", I think Egwene had very few friends, and they left Salidar shortly after she arrived. At that point, she wasn't interested in making friends with who was left, so was left with people "useful to her". Doesn't mean she doesn't know what "friend" means though.
