You're dead-on right - Rand did need to learn to grieve and mourn for the dead, for the things he's lost. I like the way that you look to Moiraine's advice as the possible cause of Al Thor losing his way. Sometimes people fail bigtime when they listen too whole-heartedly to advice from other people, advice that works well for the advice-giver but not the advice-taker.

Still, in my imaginary "oh if only Graendal was the cause" attitude, I never imagined compulsion as being Graendal's method - we've already learned that she never compulses anybody or anything just a little. I wanted to imagine Moridin (or the DO) having that "pain of heart and frustration" talk with Graendal a long time ago; in book 3 or 4, maybe. Because as a super-duper psychiatrist, she should've been key to doing exactly that since a bit after her awakening, and I could imagine her doing that - from far, far away - incredibly well.