I was reading an article about the SuperBowl the other day, and on the brilliance of American so-called football. It said something along the lines of 3 minutes of play happens every two hours. While not being as bad as baseball (nine minutes of play every match), I feel it incredibly annoying that the Americans have taken the word used to describe a classic sport and turned into something we English do without the need for padding.

Um, there's a 24 second period in which you have to get off a play, just like in basketball. Each side has three time outs to use each half that are about 90 seconds. Officials have the authority to call time outs at any time durring play for reasons they see fit, typically injury. With correct usage of timeouts, spiking of the ball, and having a player run the ball out of bounds, it's possible to get from the 5 yard line in your own territory to the end zone of the other side in under 120 seconds. So um, yea, there's time inbetween plays, but it's usually used to plan attacks and defenses. Oh, Football was played without pads back in the 1860's. But there was the small problem where people were killed while playing it. When was the last time you heard of someone breaking thier hip while playing rugby? Sapp from Tampa Bay hit a Green Bay lineman above the waist and broke the Packer's hip. Donald Driver seperatted his shoulder earlier in the season, and from catching a pass from Bret Favre, his shoulder was reseperatted. Pads are used to minimize injuries and to prevent death.

Football is, and always has been, the true sport of kings.

Not true. The sport that has become to be known as Football in Europe (Soccer) was actually outlawed several times in Britian by the kings. So this is quite clearly a misrepresentation. It's true some kings have advocated the game, and a game similar to soccer was played between Aztecs in Mexico that thier king participated in. But it has not always been the true sport of kings. I'd have to say hunting would be "The True Sport of Kings." Or maybe wenching.....

Ninety minutes of pure action and adrenaline, with massive highs and swooping lows, and a true joy to behold. And real football can be played by anyone. Do Americans decide to go down the park for a quick game of football? The answer is an unequivocal NO.

Um... huh? Have you ever been to the states? It's the single most beloved game in the midwest. I grew up on football. I used to hate watching the televised games because I wanted to play. My first game was when I was six. We played football durring recess. Granted tag, but the sisters would have killed us if we had been tackleing each other on asphault. Every day for 8 years we played football. I got into high school and joined the football team. My friends and I still get together atleast six times a year to play football even though we live in six different states and three of our number our stationed over seas in the military.

But football is a sport both played and loved by all, and it's good name has been sullied by the Americans and their love of rugby with padding.

Um.. yea, you see, soccer and football were evolving at the same time from the same game in the states. The games were actually interchangable for a long time. It wasn't until Purdue standarized the rules for football and another group standarized the rules for association football that there grew to be a need for seperate names for the same game. With different rules there came to be needed different names, so association football was bastardized to soccer.

Excuse me, I realise this post is going in a direction I didn't intend. I'm just gonna go and mellow out for a moment...

Enjoy the beer and cig?

*returns with half-smile on face and eyes rolling up into head*

Ah, that's much better. Where was I? Oh, yes. Can an American please explain to me the benefits of American football and why it's apparently so much better than soccer? Is it just some huge joke against the unenlightened? Do people who do understand point and laugh at the ignorant? I need to know!

My main problem with soccer was the fact that you weren't really allowed to hit anyone. If you do, there are these things called "cards." I never could really fathom why when I threw a blocking tackle at the guy who I normally play football with got me a red card. That and soccer players are faeries. There's really no way around it. Soccer Faeries. My older brother was a Soccer Faerie. He pissed me off so much.