It sounds to me like your roomie is getting something out of the arrangement too, though I don't know what. Taking the key is such an obvious solution, and the "but I don't want to upset him" reason for not doing it only goes as far as roomie's willingness/ability to accept the continued behavior (which includes not being bothered by it). Those are the only 2 places where roomie has control to exercise.
Not alienating his father seems to be what he's getting out of it. He isn't the most self-sure person out there, so I think part of the problem is that he doesn't feel comfortable making a definitive stance. He's too nice, and really laid back.
It's possible there's a compromise position somewhere. Maybe Dad can still come over and clean once a week, and you guys get an extra lock that Dad doesn't have a key for that you just leave unlocked on that one, agreed-upon day per week. That way roomie still gets whatever he's getting out of the deal, and dad still gets to come "help", but roomie has control over when and how often.
That's a pretty obvious statement. "You're too crazy to come over with full access, so here's your only option." It's still offensive, which is what roommate has been trying to find a way around. Doesn't seem that there is one.
Does anyone understand co-dependency?
29/10/2010 03:59:52 PM
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It sounds like the man may have some OCD cleaning problems as well.
29/10/2010 04:13:28 PM
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I dunno.
29/10/2010 04:26:19 PM
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Re: I dunno.
29/10/2010 05:11:59 PM
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I don't think it's offensive.
29/10/2010 05:19:03 PM
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well..even if it isn't offensive by nature, his dad will probably still be offended
29/10/2010 05:25:54 PM
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Um... I disagree with "what he's gettingout of it".
30/10/2010 12:48:56 PM
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The father needs to find his own drive, but you probably aren't the one to fix that. *NM*
29/10/2010 06:11:57 PM
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Tell your roomate to sh*t or get off the pot
29/10/2010 07:37:35 PM
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that sounds, er, nice and all
30/10/2010 03:07:06 PM
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sorry, but it sounds like the time for "niceness" has long passed
30/10/2010 07:28:56 PM
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