Active Users:767 Time:27/09/2026 10:54:12 AM
Did she ever actually cheat on you? Vivien Send a noteboard - 26/04/2011 09:39:15 PM
What does "getting close" to cheating mean? I'm buying the "if I were single I guess I'd do that" hypothetical scenario, but I'm confused about the whole cheating thing.

That's a horrible thing to say to your girlfriend/fiancee- if I was single, I would do X, Y, and Z. Also telling her you could never talk to her ever again very easily, even if that's true. Did you consider her feelings when you said these things or was that not a concern?


Setting for the "if I were single" comment: in long term relationships, these sorts of conversations come up, either as hypothetical scenarios or just in casual conversation. So sort of like, "what would you do if we weren't together?" conversations. Jen would have bought a Range Rover and a bunch of clothes, and I would have either kicked out West or gone back to school full time. Sort of like the "would you have sex with that person?" or "would you ever participate in a devil's threesome?" sort of conversations. So that one wasn't like a "I wish I was single so I could do _______", more like "I guess I'd do this if I were single".

Setting for the "I would never talk to you again", when I was travelling and I basically realized she was cheating on me, or getting close to it, I just wanted to make sure she realized (she should have, but I guess: didn't) that I would definitely break up with her, wouldn't get back together with her, and wouldn't be one of those people that goes through a four month process of constantly talking to their ex and so on. I always find that behavior sort of pathetic. What I meant by "people being surprised" is that a lot of people are surprised that I haven't talked to her since we broke up, because most people have to talk to someone they break up with. I'm also not claiming it was easy to go no contact, or to not respond to everything.

I also never said it, even then, angrily or with any malice. I was just like: hey, just so you know, I really will do this.
Reply to message
I Seek Life Advice - 26/04/2011 02:52:23 AM 1439 Views
Random bits of advice: - 26/04/2011 03:23:56 AM 1103 Views
Re: Thanks. - 26/04/2011 03:29:52 AM 863 Views
Re: Thanks. - 26/04/2011 04:01:32 AM 1165 Views
I don't understand why NY is not on your radar if you're ambitious. - 26/04/2011 06:10:06 AM 1083 Views
NYC is for city people. - 26/04/2011 06:22:59 AM 1045 Views
That's fair- NY is the ultimate city. *NM* - 26/04/2011 08:24:58 PM 378 Views
This is such a typical New Yorker post. *NM* - 26/04/2011 08:52:14 AM 416 Views
Re: It is under option two. - 26/04/2011 11:50:40 AM 1065 Views
Ok then! - 26/04/2011 08:24:32 PM 999 Views
Re: Yeah. - 26/04/2011 09:01:08 PM 835 Views
I love this post *NM* - 26/04/2011 02:44:11 PM 415 Views
I would if I hadn't just bought a house with the tax credit. - 26/04/2011 03:01:23 PM 1096 Views
"the ambitious folk" sounds odd to me. - 26/04/2011 06:55:40 PM 930 Views
Oh, I know. - 26/04/2011 07:04:16 PM 816 Views
I'm still not convinced two wrongs make a right. - 26/04/2011 07:37:22 PM 784 Views
Re: I'm still not convinced two wrongs make a right. - 26/04/2011 08:19:38 PM 911 Views
You're ignoring a few key facts. - 27/04/2011 05:25:39 AM 856 Views
Ha! -if that's true. - 27/04/2011 08:18:47 PM 1205 Views
Move out west. - 26/04/2011 06:21:43 AM 940 Views
Re: Ha! - 26/04/2011 11:53:09 AM 953 Views
What's your personality like? - 26/04/2011 11:19:59 AM 1021 Views
Re: That's a great reply - thanks. - 26/04/2011 12:03:05 PM 1053 Views
That's not very nice. - 26/04/2011 08:29:11 PM 977 Views
Re: Setting: - 26/04/2011 08:59:02 PM 877 Views
Did she ever actually cheat on you? - 26/04/2011 09:39:15 PM 978 Views
Re: I thought I sent you a drunk email with the details? - 26/04/2011 11:41:26 PM 1008 Views
Re: Seattle. - 27/04/2011 05:32:23 PM 1276 Views
Re: What do I think about that picture? - 27/04/2011 11:59:06 PM 1018 Views
Come to Ireland. - 26/04/2011 01:31:55 PM 882 Views
Ireland is a great place for writers. *NM* - 26/04/2011 04:11:04 PM 436 Views
Suicidal, drunk and otherwise self-destructive writers, yes. *NM* - 26/04/2011 06:49:55 PM 432 Views
The best kind! *NM* - 26/04/2011 07:09:06 PM 443 Views
*I* was going to say that! - 26/04/2011 08:25:50 PM 816 Views
To read, perhaps, but not to BE. - 27/04/2011 05:26:40 AM 959 Views
Re: I'm just not sure... - 27/04/2011 02:51:39 AM 873 Views
Re: I'm just not sure... - 27/04/2011 01:23:14 PM 925 Views
Option 4: Dance - 26/04/2011 02:31:09 PM 1032 Views
Re: Have my children. - 26/04/2011 09:08:05 PM 917 Views
$30? I fucking hate you - 26/04/2011 03:19:26 PM 857 Views
take the the risk and go with three *NM* - 26/04/2011 05:44:21 PM 585 Views
Re: Thanks for the advice. I'm dwelling on'er. *NM* - 27/04/2011 12:06:37 AM 422 Views
There will likely come a time in your life when you lose some of your choices about taking risk - 27/04/2011 05:08:48 PM 1051 Views
Good point. *NM* - 28/04/2011 06:17:04 AM 410 Views
Join the Foreign Legion - 26/04/2011 06:57:21 PM 828 Views
Re: Yeah m, but: - 27/04/2011 12:08:43 AM 1006 Views
I have to say this has been the MOST enjoyable thread, in a while. whatever happens... - 27/04/2011 02:30:05 AM 984 Views
There's been a lot of great threads lately! - 27/04/2011 07:52:21 PM 1015 Views
Re: You're just jealous... - 27/04/2011 11:56:17 PM 1149 Views
Cute! ^_^ - 28/04/2011 06:16:25 AM 894 Views
I hardly think I am qualified to chime in. - 28/04/2011 06:13:02 AM 1223 Views
I'LL GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE. - 28/04/2011 06:35:24 PM 875 Views

Reply to Message