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In most cases, a church ceremony tends to be an open thing. Anyone can come. Rebekah Send a noteboard - 15/12/2011 10:11:30 PM
Although randoms don't usually turn up. So if you belong to a church then it's nice to have the congregation involved even if you don't want them at the reception. Which might sound horrible but really isn't. :P

People who don't belong to a congregation, but use a church for their service can also have members of that congregation showing up. I've been to a few where this has happened and they don't usually stay for refreshments afterwards. They just like to be involved in the full activity of the church.

Another thing: are their invitations different- is there any indication that they're not going to be invited to a dinner? For one thing, they should be told so that they eat beforehand and for another thing, wouldn't it affect their expected gift obligation?

You'd usually say something like:

"So & So invite you to celebrate their wedding on X date. Ceremony at X church (etc), with refreshments afterwards, then a dance at X place at X time."

If you're invited to the entire day then your invitation would show the extra bits.

Gifts are always at the giver's discretion so there's no kind of obligation to it.

But if it's normal in NZ I amagine people are used to it and act accordingly, I'm just kind of curious how it all works out.

I think that it's more of a British culture thing. Dutch as well. Hospitality doesn't play as big a role in most (white) British cultural groups (except in very small and remote communities) so there's less expectation that you'd invite all and sundry to everything. NZ is basically Britain 50 years ago so it applies even more there.
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So it turns out that weddings are expensive... Dannymac - 12/12/2011 04:24:17 PM 1910 Views
I am looking to drop about a grand on my son's rehearsal dinner *NM* random thoughts - 12/12/2011 04:42:53 PM 515 Views
Well, part of it is that the rehearsal dinner isn't on the $5k budget. Dannymac - 12/12/2011 04:46:30 PM 897 Views
It is avoidable, but people will treat you like you're a nutcase if you don't do most of the things nossy - 12/12/2011 05:02:14 PM 946 Views
my first wedding was in church with a pretty dress and a preacher random thoughts - 12/12/2011 06:12:02 PM 881 Views
We had a pretty dress and a notary public in the courtyard of the B&B. nossy - 12/12/2011 09:36:52 PM 924 Views
If I had it to all over again I would have formed a Rock Band and dated supermodels *NM* random thoughts - 13/12/2011 04:20:28 PM 476 Views
*NM* TaskmasterJack - 22/12/2011 10:15:04 PM 482 Views
Heh. Nate - 12/12/2011 05:29:19 PM 1043 Views
Re: Heh. Macharius - 12/12/2011 06:02:44 PM 920 Views
Re: Heh. Nate - 12/12/2011 06:44:30 PM 1058 Views
Re: Heh. Macharius - 12/12/2011 07:27:16 PM 1016 Views
We kept it to about $5000 also (including cost of rings). Macharius - 12/12/2011 06:06:54 PM 962 Views
I would say our wedding was about that. Lici - 12/12/2011 06:45:46 PM 1116 Views
I feel like they only have to be expensive if you let them be. LadyLorraine - 12/12/2011 07:07:59 PM 987 Views
I got married two weeks ago for less than that. Aemon - 12/12/2011 09:56:43 PM 1084 Views
Congrats Sareitha Sedai - 12/12/2011 10:03:35 PM 892 Views
Thanks! Aemon - 13/12/2011 02:53:11 PM 894 Views
You've been holding out on us. Congratulations. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 13/12/2011 12:02:39 AM 530 Views
Honestly, I didn't think anyone would care. Aemon - 13/12/2011 03:08:44 PM 865 Views
Hey! No announcement??? Congratulations and may you find many years of happiness! *NM* everynametaken - 13/12/2011 03:27:51 AM 567 Views
No, no announcement. I'm not really the center-of-attention type. haha Thanks though! *NM* Aemon - 13/12/2011 03:10:29 PM 480 Views
Congratulations, my friend. Jacob - 13/12/2011 03:21:22 PM 859 Views
Thanks. Aemon - 13/12/2011 06:38:59 PM 942 Views
Acceptable... Jacob - 13/12/2011 06:40:29 PM 865 Views
OMG! Congratulations! Danu - 14/12/2011 10:43:05 PM 870 Views
Thanks Danu. *NM* Aemon - 15/12/2011 11:08:51 PM 484 Views
i had 500 people at my wedding....... Aisha - 13/12/2011 12:05:38 AM 1053 Views
Everybody I have ever talked to that had a big, expensive wedding has told me that in hindsight... everynametaken - 13/12/2011 03:29:34 AM 864 Views
Yes they are. We're planning ours and... callandor1000 - 13/12/2011 02:19:42 AM 956 Views
Some people just don't seem to think outside of the box ironclad - 13/12/2011 09:15:49 AM 1025 Views
And several items on that chart are soo unnecessary *NM* ironclad - 13/12/2011 09:41:10 AM 509 Views
They're only as expensive as you make them. Tim - 14/12/2011 10:38:37 AM 864 Views
I'm so glad we went simple. Kaldric - 14/12/2011 03:08:45 PM 1020 Views
As someone who had a smaller wedding than was expected by certain people... Danu - 14/12/2011 10:36:57 PM 1000 Views
These seem kind of extreme. Vivien - 15/12/2011 06:03:15 AM 1011 Views
because of your history you might find a cash bar lame... LadyLorraine - 15/12/2011 12:59:39 PM 1037 Views
Not my personal history, but culture. Vivien - 15/12/2011 03:53:12 PM 1039 Views
I agree that there are better cuts to make than refreshments LadyLorraine - 15/12/2011 04:35:13 PM 989 Views
Re: because of your history you might find a cash bar lame... callandor1000 - 22/12/2011 01:08:00 PM 1014 Views
Yeah, and that's why Russians are all dying of alcoholism. *NM* Macharius - 15/12/2011 01:46:52 PM 522 Views
You don't have to be an alcoholic to prefer not to have a cash bar at a party. Vivien - 15/12/2011 03:37:15 PM 904 Views
It is lame to expect the father of the bride to shell out tens of thousands for a party random thoughts - 15/12/2011 02:00:54 PM 1005 Views
seriously. who cares if people think you're "cheap". LadyLorraine - 15/12/2011 04:41:33 PM 913 Views
What my family tends to do (because it's huge) is this: Rebekah - 15/12/2011 02:16:31 PM 1086 Views
That's what most German weddings do too. Reasonable. *NM* ironclad - 15/12/2011 03:38:40 PM 479 Views
If they're not close enough to invite to the reception, are they really needed at the ceremony? Vivien - 15/12/2011 08:18:18 PM 1007 Views
In most cases, a church ceremony tends to be an open thing. Anyone can come. Rebekah - 15/12/2011 10:11:30 PM 1044 Views
Apparently it's becoming more common over here to do weddings on a weekday. Rebekah - 15/12/2011 02:13:57 PM 889 Views
I can't imagine someone in America announcing their wedding was on a weekday. TaskmasterJack - 15/12/2011 10:07:55 PM 1133 Views
People not in America have way more vacation days... *NM* Vivien - 15/12/2011 11:56:22 PM 475 Views
That was part of the logic in my thinking, yes. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 16/12/2011 12:46:53 AM 456 Views
Fridays are actually becoming more common. Sareitha Sedai - 16/12/2011 04:51:41 PM 839 Views
Why does the band get more than the photographer? Amyrlin - 16/12/2011 04:30:29 PM 812 Views
well they do have to split it 4 or 5 ways random thoughts - 16/12/2011 04:38:36 PM 905 Views
The thing is... it's NOT a night's work. Amyrlin - 16/12/2011 09:27:30 PM 1203 Views
Because if you put tiny plastic musical instruments on all the tables, your ears will bleed out. TaskmasterJack - 16/12/2011 10:04:59 PM 1271 Views
My advice based on what I've done so far. callandor1000 - 22/12/2011 01:27:29 PM 900 Views
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