I'd be much more OK with that kind of writing in a high school essay than a university one. If this is his first graded paper at university, for example, he'll need help breaking his high-school habits.
Presumably the references come in the body of the text.
What do you think of this intro?
- 14/12/2009 06:14:51 AM
592 Views
I'm not a fan of the first two sentences.
- 14/12/2009 06:42:10 AM
367 Views
Well, i know for a fact that he doesn't opening with questions
- 14/12/2009 07:02:03 AM
474 Views
*NM*
Sentence fragments are unacceptable in technical writing. You need to fix that.
- 14/12/2009 06:51:05 AM
362 Views
I want to stick a wikipedia-style "who?" in there.
- 14/12/2009 10:53:02 AM
348 Views
That's actually how we're taught to write in American high schools...
- 14/12/2009 02:39:56 PM
343 Views
Part of my problem is that he hasn't told me what level this is for.
- 14/12/2009 03:04:40 PM
323 Views
Aye, but it's an intro.
- 15/12/2009 08:07:38 AM
291 Views
References should come at the first mention of whatever it is. *NM*
- 15/12/2009 08:42:27 AM
140 Views
You presume correctly
- 15/12/2009 02:19:07 PM
384 Views
It's simply an introduction, my citations and stuff come in a little later. *NM*
- 14/12/2009 08:49:15 PM
183 Views
I smell a strawman...
- 15/12/2009 02:25:36 AM
350 Views
well it was in response to a prompt which stated people call it the "Golden Age". My hands were tied *NM*
- 15/12/2009 02:20:54 PM
174 Views
Stylistically it needs a lot of work.
- 15/12/2009 03:28:24 AM
403 Views
Hell, with a critique like that I may start putting up my introductory paragraphs. 
*NM*
- 15/12/2009 04:37:53 AM
211 Views
*NM*
- 15/12/2009 04:37:53 AM
211 Views