well it was in response to a prompt which stated people call it the "Golden Age". My hands were tied *NM*
Blaine Send a noteboard - 15/12/2009 02:20:54 PM
Does anyone buy into the idea that the 50's was a golden age anymore? Even white males have to know that the era sucked for everyone but them. And maybe some of their children.
But the introduction is okay. Except that there might be a better way of phrasing it so that it doesn't smell like a strawman.
Tash
But the introduction is okay. Except that there might be a better way of phrasing it so that it doesn't smell like a strawman.
Tash
What do you think of this intro?
- 14/12/2009 06:14:51 AM
901 Views
I'm not a fan of the first two sentences.
- 14/12/2009 06:42:10 AM
645 Views
Well, i know for a fact that he doesn't opening with questions
- 14/12/2009 07:02:03 AM
796 Views
*NM*
Sentence fragments are unacceptable in technical writing. You need to fix that.
- 14/12/2009 06:51:05 AM
628 Views
I want to stick a wikipedia-style "who?" in there.
- 14/12/2009 10:53:02 AM
616 Views
That's actually how we're taught to write in American high schools...
- 14/12/2009 02:39:56 PM
618 Views
Part of my problem is that he hasn't told me what level this is for.
- 14/12/2009 03:04:40 PM
594 Views
Aye, but it's an intro.
- 15/12/2009 08:07:38 AM
566 Views
References should come at the first mention of whatever it is. *NM*
- 15/12/2009 08:42:27 AM
255 Views
It's simply an introduction, my citations and stuff come in a little later. *NM*
- 14/12/2009 08:49:15 PM
333 Views
I smell a strawman...
- 15/12/2009 02:25:36 AM
624 Views
well it was in response to a prompt which stated people call it the "Golden Age". My hands were tied *NM*
- 15/12/2009 02:20:54 PM
302 Views
Stylistically it needs a lot of work.
- 15/12/2009 03:28:24 AM
691 Views
Hell, with a critique like that I may start putting up my introductory paragraphs. 
*NM*
- 15/12/2009 04:37:53 AM
329 Views
*NM*
- 15/12/2009 04:37:53 AM
329 Views