Remember kids, the vast majority of women out there are shallow bimbos who will only love you if you look like Brad Pitt or are rich. If you find one of the extremely rare ones who are not selfish bitches out to crush a man's heart, be sure to latch onto her and place her on a pedestal because surely, she's your only chance at happiness (bonus points if she knows this, because every women likes to be thought of as some desperate guy's only chance).

Remember, women are desirable, wonderous things to possess, so be sure to treat them that way. Woman love to be thought of as possessions as long as you're flattering about it.




Gah, what is wrong with you?? There is a reason people who think like the above paragraphs don't get women, but it isn't the reason they think.