Active Users:506 Time:06/12/2025 09:32:24 PM
I would hate that. HATE. Sareitha Sedai Send a noteboard - 02/08/2019 05:28:40 PM

View original post
For those of you who do not speak business jargon, I will explain.

A 100% agile workspace has no offices. None. Not even for directors and VPs. No cubicles. No assigned seating at all. If there is a desk phone at your seat, you have to log on every morning and log out at end of day because tomorrow you might be sitting somewhere different. Everything is open seating with an 18 inch high plastic divider between (most) workstations. Others are just like long tables with 4 or 5 computer ports per side.

The kool-aid explanation is such open workspaces foster collaboration and increase individual empowerment. They increase worker morale and job satisfaction. This is such bullshit that pointing it out makes one feel like Captain Obvious.

Why are we really doing this? Coincidently, we are condensing from three floors to one at the same time. So the inescapable fact that we are reducing our square foot per employee ratio by two-thirds must be a side benefit. Amirite?

This will suck big time. We will have 220+ people vying for 225 seats. Instead of 3 kitchens, we will have 1. Instead of 6 bathrooms, we will have 2. Empowerment and increased satisfaction my ass.



There are parts of my company that have that setup (we call it some other jargony thing though..."hoteling," although the actual arrangement is hot-desking). Fortunately, my area is not one of them, and our leadership is opposed. We will see how long we're able to hold out. Ours really would be to foster collaboration (blah, blah, blah) though, because we are not reducing our footprint at all. Rather, we're in the midst of a space expansion. But still, our area's cubicles are getting shrunk. They are currently larger-than-company-standard and are reducing to company-standard, because even with the work-from-home option and added space, we still don't have enough room for all our people who need physical space onsite.

If you are from Betelgeuse, please have one of your Earth friends read what I've written before you respond. Or try concentrating harder.

"The trophy problem has become extreme."
Reply to message
Starting next week, our office in Shelton, Connecticut is going "fully agile" - 01/08/2019 10:14:37 PM 1412 Views
Fully agile? Try fully asshole. - 02/08/2019 12:32:54 PM 1192 Views
Yes - 02/08/2019 02:43:38 PM 1075 Views
Re: Yes - 03/08/2019 09:21:42 PM 1980 Views
It's awful - 04/08/2019 01:13:02 AM 1134 Views
"fully agile" vs. "futile agility" - 02/08/2019 04:08:41 PM 1078 Views
Do they provide good coffee, or is it burnt? - 02/08/2019 04:34:50 PM 1084 Views
Hopefully it will be good - 02/08/2019 04:56:36 PM 1086 Views
Question does Open Office delve into Cliques? - 02/08/2019 05:58:37 PM 1125 Views
Re: Question does Open Office delve into Cliques? - 02/08/2019 06:13:52 PM 1109 Views
I would hate that. HATE. - 02/08/2019 05:28:40 PM 1148 Views
I plan on hating it. - 02/08/2019 05:55:22 PM 1083 Views
Sounds fair to me *NM* - 02/08/2019 06:12:35 PM 617 Views
Hm. I'd hate that too, but I wouldn't want cubicles for everyone either... - 02/08/2019 06:07:00 PM 1120 Views
Our setup that ended this week was like what you currently have - 02/08/2019 06:57:24 PM 1090 Views
Yuck. What about people with special requirements? - 03/08/2019 09:09:43 PM 1554 Views
Re: Yuck. What about people with special requirements? - 03/08/2019 09:19:48 PM 1247 Views
I have my own office now. Sometimes a law clerk comes and shares it with me. - 04/08/2019 08:27:54 AM 1088 Views
Very nice. - 05/08/2019 03:01:22 PM 1089 Views
I'm pretty sure the desks are composite ply. Also I get paid minimum wage. - 06/08/2019 11:51:20 PM 1120 Views
Not government issue gray steel? - 07/08/2019 01:57:28 AM 1186 Views
Yuck. I suggest noise cancelling headphones. - 04/08/2019 03:11:20 PM 1322 Views
I will be ordering from Amazon. Today. *NM* - 05/08/2019 03:02:36 PM 789 Views
How are they? *NM* - 08/08/2019 03:31:22 PM 536 Views
Excellent! For conference calls as well as music. Good recommendation! *NM* - 08/08/2019 03:36:57 PM 563 Views
Which of the two colors did you pick? *NM* - 08/08/2019 11:26:50 PM 542 Views
Silver *NM* - 09/08/2019 01:47:30 AM 557 Views
We started today. It sucks every bit as badly as I anticipated. - 05/08/2019 02:54:33 PM 1084 Views
Counterproductive is the New Alternate Path Synergy - 05/08/2019 05:33:00 PM 1045 Views
Re: Counterproductive is the New Alternate Path Synergy - 05/08/2019 06:13:57 PM 1090 Views
Ugh @ these consultants - 05/08/2019 06:51:50 PM 1186 Views
I've got something you can pivot on right here.... - 05/08/2019 07:28:06 PM 1091 Views
Be the Leaf LiterateDog - 05/08/2019 07:30:35 PM 1109 Views
Yes.....I would love to get some of that sweet sweet Consultant money. *NM* - 05/08/2019 07:11:18 PM 522 Views
You've already nailed the jargon *NM* - 05/08/2019 07:28:42 PM 537 Views

Reply to Message