One has to differentiate between the private person, and one who is called upon to rule. In Egwene's case, she has to be both a Private person, and a Public person. On top of that, she now has the responsibility of leading the now-reunited Aes Sedai.

In a time when rulers of any kind are rarely hampered by constitutional checks on their powers-Earth during Middle Ages and Renaissance period,and seemingly all of Rand's world-a ruler very often simply can't afford to be seen as a kindly person.

A ruler in that type of cultural mindset needs to be seen as both autocratic, and in touch with the people he/she rules. Two real world examples would be Henry VIII, and his daughter, Elizabeth I.

I don't imagine one could call either one of them very nice people. But they did superbly well by their nation. And this, in spite of having to face some very serious problems, some self-created, others not.

On to Egwene...

The Aes Sedai don't need a nice Amyrlin right now. They need a capable one who is, above all else, a realist.

They also need one who can bring all the various factions within the Tower to heel; so they're going to need a tough Amyrlin as well...

They're going to need an Amyrlin who can order the executions of DFs and BAs without batting an eyelash, or dithering.

And they're going to need an Amyrlin who can do all of that, while keeping up expected appearances to both the inside and outside world, while getting rid of factional hatreds.

No, I don't think Egwene's growing up to be a very nice woman at all. But, she can't afford to.

But, she's well on her way to becoming the White Tower's very own Elizabeth I...