Active Users:430 Time:17/06/2025 03:44:04 AM
Right nossy Send a noteboard - 05/10/2010 05:19:29 PM
To a point, he has to be willing to do whatever she needs to reassure herself (within reason) in the beginning. Resistance from him on that would be telling I think. "You have to give me passwords to all your online accounts" might be reasonable; "you have to quit your job which is currently supporting all of us" might not be. Maybe the dividing line is things that are fully within his control vs. things that aren't, I don't know. But you're absolutely right...deciding to trust has to happen eventually, and that's going to be scary as hell. Maybe for both of them.

Yes. And that "within reason" comment is why I said it can be tricky. If he didn't want her to have his accounts, he could feel it was ok to resist on the basis of just regular old privacy, but he would obviously not be doing much to foster healing. And a good job seems like a different beast to me. It's gonna be tough, but she'll have to decide what is worth forcing and whether that's enough. Or too much.

Ultimately, I think you're right that there are personal reasons for this, and that most of it has nothing to do with "just because I could." If they can find those reasons, it might go well. :)
Reply to message
So I just had the worst weekend of my life... - 05/10/2010 03:01:34 PM 961 Views
that's really tough - 05/10/2010 03:09:44 PM 577 Views
Re: that's really tough - 05/10/2010 03:16:41 PM 749 Views
Good for you - 05/10/2010 03:20:24 PM 534 Views
Re: Good for you - 05/10/2010 03:30:58 PM 720 Views
Re: Good for you - 05/10/2010 03:51:14 PM 591 Views
I don't know what to say. - 05/10/2010 03:51:23 PM 538 Views
Okay, then let me be the one to say... - 05/10/2010 04:04:11 PM 666 Views
Re: Okay, then let me be the one to say... - 05/10/2010 04:07:33 PM 794 Views
I know, that'll be the toughest part - 05/10/2010 04:11:56 PM 523 Views
Re: Okay, then let me be the one to say... - 05/10/2010 04:50:44 PM 549 Views
Or - 05/10/2010 04:58:57 PM 568 Views
Yeah. - 05/10/2010 05:06:11 PM 536 Views
Right - 05/10/2010 05:19:29 PM 532 Views
Re: Or - 05/10/2010 05:56:19 PM 478 Views
It's possible - 05/10/2010 05:00:57 PM 534 Views
That's irrelavant. - 05/10/2010 05:13:00 PM 517 Views
I agree with what Jens said (similarly not knowing any other details) - 05/10/2010 05:25:18 PM 502 Views
I'm sorry. - 05/10/2010 05:02:16 PM 505 Views
What happened exactly? - 05/10/2010 05:52:23 PM 544 Views
Re: What happened exactly? - 05/10/2010 06:01:42 PM 820 Views
I'm really sorry to hear that... - 05/10/2010 06:04:54 PM 499 Views
That sucks and there is no easy answer - 05/10/2010 06:28:24 PM 502 Views
Cripes. - 05/10/2010 11:17:21 PM 502 Views
Get yourself tested for STDs - 06/10/2010 12:43:18 AM 554 Views
*hugs* - 06/10/2010 06:00:40 AM 458 Views

Reply to Message