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I don't think it's offensive. Sareitha Sedai Send a noteboard - 29/10/2010 05:19:03 PM
It sounds to me like your roomie is getting something out of the arrangement too, though I don't know what. Taking the key is such an obvious solution, and the "but I don't want to upset him" reason for not doing it only goes as far as roomie's willingness/ability to accept the continued behavior (which includes not being bothered by it). Those are the only 2 places where roomie has control to exercise.

Not alienating his father seems to be what he's getting out of it. He isn't the most self-sure person out there, so I think part of the problem is that he doesn't feel comfortable making a definitive stance. He's too nice, and really laid back.

It's possible there's a compromise position somewhere. Maybe Dad can still come over and clean once a week, and you guys get an extra lock that Dad doesn't have a key for that you just leave unlocked on that one, agreed-upon day per week. That way roomie still gets whatever he's getting out of the deal, and dad still gets to come "help", but roomie has control over when and how often.

That's a pretty obvious statement. "You're too crazy to come over with full access, so here's your only option." It's still offensive, which is what roommate has been trying to find a way around. Doesn't seem that there is one.


Still coming over constantly after having repeatedly been asked/told/pleaded with/cajoled not to is offensive. Trying to have control over who is in your home and when is not.
If you are from Betelgeuse, please have one of your Earth friends read what I've written before you respond. Or try concentrating harder.

"The trophy problem has become extreme."
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Does anyone understand co-dependency? - 29/10/2010 03:59:52 PM 887 Views
That's almost.... creepy. - 29/10/2010 04:12:50 PM 605 Views
Almost? - 29/10/2010 04:45:41 PM 611 Views
It sounds like the man may have some OCD cleaning problems as well. - 29/10/2010 04:13:28 PM 617 Views
I definitely think so. - 29/10/2010 05:08:01 PM 607 Views
Re: I definitely think so. - 29/10/2010 06:17:51 PM 605 Views
I dunno. - 29/10/2010 04:26:19 PM 667 Views
Re: I dunno. - 29/10/2010 05:11:59 PM 648 Views
I don't think it's offensive. - 29/10/2010 05:19:03 PM 617 Views
well..even if it isn't offensive by nature, his dad will probably still be offended - 29/10/2010 05:25:54 PM 608 Views
Of course he will. - 29/10/2010 05:37:08 PM 619 Views
Um... I disagree with "what he's gettingout of it". - 30/10/2010 12:48:56 PM 598 Views
and if one wants a father, rather than a free maid? - 30/10/2010 03:00:03 PM 659 Views
He can make sure the place is clean before the father shows up. - 30/10/2010 03:25:40 PM 611 Views
I honestly think - 29/10/2010 05:12:09 PM 604 Views
I'd also say just take the key, but that's just me. - 29/10/2010 05:16:17 PM 590 Views
Why does he have a key? - 29/10/2010 05:23:50 PM 543 Views
Does he do the dishes and clean the bathrooms? - 29/10/2010 06:54:07 PM 587 Views
Tell your roomate to sh*t or get off the pot - 29/10/2010 07:37:35 PM 588 Views
that sounds, er, nice and all - 30/10/2010 03:07:06 PM 666 Views
sorry, but it sounds like the time for "niceness" has long passed - 30/10/2010 07:28:56 PM 667 Views
Give him my address and everyone wins. - 30/10/2010 10:25:30 AM 636 Views
I totally agree with Ave... - 30/10/2010 11:52:08 PM 656 Views

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