In most cases, a church ceremony tends to be an open thing. Anyone can come.
Rebekah Send a noteboard - 15/12/2011 10:11:30 PM
Although randoms don't usually turn up. So if you belong to a church then it's nice to have the congregation involved even if you don't want them at the reception. Which might sound horrible but really isn't. 
People who don't belong to a congregation, but use a church for their service can also have members of that congregation showing up. I've been to a few where this has happened and they don't usually stay for refreshments afterwards. They just like to be involved in the full activity of the church.
You'd usually say something like:
"So & So invite you to celebrate their wedding on X date. Ceremony at X church (etc), with refreshments afterwards, then a dance at X place at X time."
If you're invited to the entire day then your invitation would show the extra bits.
Gifts are always at the giver's discretion so there's no kind of obligation to it.
I think that it's more of a British culture thing. Dutch as well. Hospitality doesn't play as big a role in most (white) British cultural groups (except in very small and remote communities) so there's less expectation that you'd invite all and sundry to everything. NZ is basically Britain 50 years ago so it applies even more there.
People who don't belong to a congregation, but use a church for their service can also have members of that congregation showing up. I've been to a few where this has happened and they don't usually stay for refreshments afterwards. They just like to be involved in the full activity of the church.
Another thing: are their invitations different- is there any indication that they're not going to be invited to a dinner? For one thing, they should be told so that they eat beforehand and for another thing, wouldn't it affect their expected gift obligation?
You'd usually say something like:
"So & So invite you to celebrate their wedding on X date. Ceremony at X church (etc), with refreshments afterwards, then a dance at X place at X time."
If you're invited to the entire day then your invitation would show the extra bits.
Gifts are always at the giver's discretion so there's no kind of obligation to it.
But if it's normal in NZ I amagine people are used to it and act accordingly, I'm just kind of curious how it all works out.
I think that it's more of a British culture thing. Dutch as well. Hospitality doesn't play as big a role in most (white) British cultural groups (except in very small and remote communities) so there's less expectation that you'd invite all and sundry to everything. NZ is basically Britain 50 years ago so it applies even more there.
*MySmiley*
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
So it turns out that weddings are expensive...
- 12/12/2011 04:24:17 PM
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I am looking to drop about a grand on my son's rehearsal dinner *NM*
- 12/12/2011 04:42:53 PM
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Well, part of it is that the rehearsal dinner isn't on the $5k budget.
- 12/12/2011 04:46:30 PM
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It is avoidable, but people will treat you like you're a nutcase if you don't do most of the things
- 12/12/2011 05:02:14 PM
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my first wedding was in church with a pretty dress and a preacher
- 12/12/2011 06:12:02 PM
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We had a pretty dress and a notary public in the courtyard of the B&B.
- 12/12/2011 09:36:52 PM
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If I had it to all over again I would have formed a Rock Band and dated supermodels *NM*
- 13/12/2011 04:20:28 PM
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*NM*
- 13/12/2011 04:20:28 PM
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*NM*
I got married two weeks ago for less than that.
- 12/12/2011 09:56:43 PM
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Hey! No announcement??? Congratulations and may you find many years of happiness! 
*NM*
- 13/12/2011 03:27:51 AM
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*NM*
- 13/12/2011 03:27:51 AM
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No, no announcement. I'm not really the center-of-attention type. haha Thanks though! *NM*
- 13/12/2011 03:10:29 PM
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*NM*
- 13/12/2011 03:10:29 PM
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*NM*
i had 500 people at my wedding.......
- 13/12/2011 12:05:38 AM
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Everybody I have ever talked to that had a big, expensive wedding has told me that in hindsight...
- 13/12/2011 03:29:34 AM
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As someone who had a smaller wedding than was expected by certain people...
- 14/12/2011 10:36:57 PM
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These seem kind of extreme.
- 15/12/2011 06:03:15 AM
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because of your history you might find a cash bar lame...
- 15/12/2011 12:59:39 PM
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Yeah, and that's why Russians are all dying of alcoholism. *NM*
- 15/12/2011 01:46:52 PM
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You don't have to be an alcoholic to prefer not to have a cash bar at a party.
- 15/12/2011 03:37:15 PM
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It is lame to expect the father of the bride to shell out tens of thousands for a party
- 15/12/2011 02:00:54 PM
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What my family tends to do (because it's huge) is this:
- 15/12/2011 02:16:31 PM
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If they're not close enough to invite to the reception, are they really needed at the ceremony?
- 15/12/2011 08:18:18 PM
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In most cases, a church ceremony tends to be an open thing. Anyone can come.
- 15/12/2011 10:11:30 PM
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Apparently it's becoming more common over here to do weddings on a weekday.
- 15/12/2011 02:13:57 PM
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I can't imagine someone in America announcing their wedding was on a weekday.
- 15/12/2011 10:07:55 PM
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- 15/12/2011 10:07:55 PM
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Why does the band get more than the photographer?
- 16/12/2011 04:30:29 PM
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Because if you put tiny plastic musical instruments on all the tables, your ears will bleed out. 
- 16/12/2011 10:04:59 PM
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- 16/12/2011 10:04:59 PM
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