Community Messageboard: That was a good critique. by Tashmere

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That was a good critique. *NM* Tashmere Send a noteboard - 16/12/2009 01:21:28 AM

What do you think of this intro? Blaine - 14/12/2009 06:14:51 AM 791 Views

I'm not a fan of the first two sentences. Brian - 14/12/2009 06:42:10 AM 548 Views

Well, i know for a fact that he doesn't opening with questions Blaine - 14/12/2009 07:02:03 AM 688 Views

Brian - 14/12/2009 07:22:46 AM 526 Views

*NM* Blaine - 14/12/2009 07:59:39 AM 269 Views

Sentence fragments are unacceptable in technical writing. You need to fix that. Ghavrel - 14/12/2009 06:51:05 AM 542 Views

I think i see what you are talking about, thanks. *NM* Blaine - 14/12/2009 07:05:04 AM 273 Views

It's like a Pleasentville film review. *NM* AgentOrange - 14/12/2009 09:54:14 AM 214 Views

I actually mention it a few times later. *NM* Blaine - 14/12/2009 08:48:11 PM 287 Views

I want to stick a wikipedia-style "who?" in there. Tim - 14/12/2009 10:53:02 AM 524 Views

That's actually how we're taught to write in American high schools... Lupine - 14/12/2009 02:39:56 PM 518 Views

Part of my problem is that he hasn't told me what level this is for. Tim - 14/12/2009 03:04:40 PM 498 Views

Aye, but it's an intro. Rebekah - 15/12/2009 08:07:38 AM 468 Views

References should come at the first mention of whatever it is. *NM* Tim - 15/12/2009 08:42:27 AM 212 Views

You presume correctly Blaine - 15/12/2009 02:19:07 PM 592 Views

It's simply an introduction, my citations and stuff come in a little later. *NM* Blaine - 14/12/2009 08:49:15 PM 278 Views

I smell a strawman... Tashmere - 15/12/2009 02:25:36 AM 531 Views

Stylistically it needs a lot of work. Tom - 15/12/2009 03:28:24 AM 590 Views

*NM* Ghavrel - 15/12/2009 04:37:53 AM 287 Views

Wow, thanks *NM* Blaine - 15/12/2009 02:22:48 PM 292 Views

That was a good critique. *NM* Tashmere - 16/12/2009 01:21:28 AM 203 Views

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