I can't even imagine how you are feeling right now. I'd be absolutely gutted too, and I don't even have a child in the mix, but just my husband doing that would be enough to destroy my life.

I know she's hurt you, and that's understandable. But your friends are right in that if you can spend time trying to patch things up, you owe that to your daughter if not to yourself and your wife. The absolute best situation for Melissa is for the two of you to get through this and end up back togather.

Having said that, since you don't know what precipitated this, you're a little bit powerless at the moment. Spend some time introspecting and see if there were any clues to this at all. If Amy will talk to you, listen (really listen) to her and do your best to allay her concerns and fears, whatever those are.

Depending on what you know of her and what she's likely to respond best/worst to, you might want to play hardball. Talk to a lawyer (or at least tell her you're going to) and make sure you have at LEAST 50% custody...make it clear to her that whatever she does she is NOT going to take your daughter away from you. You might even consider threatening (or actually proceeding) to pursue 100% custody on the grounds that she's mentally unstable. I don't know if fathers' rights are taken any more seriously in Canada than in the U.S. (are you in Canada? I can't remember)...this probably wouldn't be enough in many states to get you full custody, but a) that might not be the case where you are, b) she might not know that, and c) if she's that distraught right now she might not be thinking clearly and might believe you out of fear/not wanting to lose her daughter too.

Again, I'm so sorry this is happening.