I hate turkey. I loathe it. It's like eating dry shoes. Having to pour a disgusting syrup or gravy over it to make it edible doesn't change the situation. I'm having a filet mignon for Thanksgiving, thank you. If the pilgrims didn't have turkey there's no reason for me to have to eat it.

And isn't the only reason turkey became popular because traditional holiday birds like goose were too expensive? Are we going to start drinking Thunderbird now because some people in the projects can't afford wine?