He called himself my boyfriend and wants to meet my parents. He also kind of just assumed he would be my date for my brother's wedding...
it's interesting. i've had the thing happen where other people refer to me as x's gf or something - it's been a long time since i've defined that for myself. one guy i dated called himself my bf and i was like, "well, ok... that depends on your definition of that." it seemed that he considered it to be a guy that goes out with someone on occasion. like weekly.

really, i'm not one to talk, though, i think... i've just started a relationship that i've got to get under control with respect to its terms and labels before things get out of hand. i'm not sure it's a good idea to date your neighbors ... but i really do like him, so... yeah. i have this sense that i have acquired a bf, though, without really trying. i'm sort of happy about it, despite all the things i'm going to have to do to get it to work out.

in my opinion, american cultural dating system is a total nightmare that we're waiting to wake up from. the lack of communication and high levels of assumption, like when you date for 4 months, much like i have with my neighbor, and you end up being together without really talking about it... it's kind of silly. i mean, shouldn't we be paying attention? or should like/love really be like that? quiet, without discussion or thought, just sort of trying to flow together... i'm not sure. i definitely wish it were easier though.

These things kinda bugged me, but on the other hand, I am not dating anyone else. So does that make him my default boyfriend?? I mean, I don't want to have some uncomfortable talk... But I don't want to just all of a sudden end up with him thinking we are about to get married.
you're likely going to have to have some kind of talk, much as the others responding to this post have said... it happens, i guess. i've had many an uncomfortable talk in my time. i don't think they ever get much easier. but i'm sure it'll all work out for you. good luck!



"But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

from 'the velveteen rabbit'

first warder to lord malshun