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When you stop wondering if they are or not... Fyatuk - 24/04/2004 04:55:27 PM

The guy I have been dating since January (yes, the same fellow I met on the plane back from the NYC gathering... For those of you who pay attention... )

He called himself my boyfriend and wants to meet my parents. He also kind of just assumed he would be my date for my brother's wedding...

A lot of people just default to the terms girlfriend/boyfriend whenever they date someone. Usually after a couple weeks of dating people just slip into it. Annoying, but it happens.

The assuming date bit is just wrong. Should never assume that, at least not until you've met the people involved. That's pushing things in my mind. If he had met you parents/brother, etc then it would be remotely acceptable at least.

These things kinda bugged me, but on the other hand, I am not dating anyone else. So does that make him my default boyfriend?? I mean, I don't want to have some uncomfortable talk... But I don't want to just all of a sudden end up with him thinking we are about to get married.

Since your asking the question and thinking about it, you're not. Especially when in one of your other posts you mentioned you spend all your time with him and don't get to meet other people. Sounds like you are sold on the idea so he isn't.

As for avoiding "the talk", the only way to postpone that would be to go do some things without him. Make it clear you have a life outside of him through your actions. Eventually he'll bring it up or take off. Its a gamble, and only a procrastination at best.

Thoughts??

Personally like most people I know I've completely given up on the idea of relationships. They cause more problems than they're worth in my experience. If I go out with anyone, I make sure they know that by the end of the first date so they know what to expect.

However to all those people who still work for those relationships... Good luck to ya.

On other notes... ACK! CMB!


Fyatuk Loth
Pope Consort to Grand Mistress Krista Sedai
Minister to the Way of What
Warder to Egwene Dreamwalker (donate WSe please)

Currently stalking Belals Girl.

WTF?




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When is someone your "boyfriend"? - 23/04/2004 02:39:29 PM 412 Views
He obviously isn't your boyfriend - 23/04/2004 02:44:40 PM 100 Views
yeah - 23/04/2004 04:08:26 PM 46 Views
So you're just "Dating?" - 23/04/2004 04:26:41 PM 42 Views
yeah - 23/04/2004 05:06:55 PM 33 Views
Okay, I still don't understand... - 24/04/2004 02:49:02 PM 8 Views
Exclusivity and Obligation - 24/04/2004 08:49:25 PM 11 Views
You've been dating him since January (almost 4 months) - 23/04/2004 02:49:34 PM 67 Views
Re: When is someone your "boyfriend"? - 23/04/2004 02:54:05 PM 76 Views
actually - 23/04/2004 04:21:44 PM 43 Views
*NM* - 23/04/2004 10:47:27 PM 2 Views
Re: When is someone your "boyfriend"? - 23/04/2004 03:13:00 PM 33 Views
When you say he is. - 23/04/2004 03:17:07 PM 27 Views
When you deem it so. - 23/04/2004 03:20:48 PM 48 Views
*wails* - 23/04/2004 04:09:29 PM 32 Views
LOL. - 23/04/2004 05:35:01 PM 16 Views
to be a couple - 23/04/2004 03:27:19 PM 29 Views
This is somthing I think is uniquely American. - 23/04/2004 03:33:00 PM 79 Views
I don't think that's a fair statement - 23/04/2004 03:40:57 PM 56 Views
It's still a uniquely American thing. - 23/04/2004 03:43:56 PM 64 Views
*nods* - 23/04/2004 04:17:38 PM 41 Views
- 23/04/2004 04:25:20 PM 33 Views
No, really. It isn't. - 23/04/2004 04:31:07 PM 28 Views
*agrees* - 23/04/2004 04:36:18 PM 25 Views
it takes two - 23/04/2004 04:48:33 PM 25 Views
But - 23/04/2004 05:00:56 PM 16 Views
You're right... - 24/04/2004 06:04:51 AM 10 Views
You need the "talk". - 23/04/2004 03:45:28 PM 27 Views
good advice!! - 23/04/2004 04:16:10 PM 14 Views
Okay, I haven't had very many relationships here, but... - 23/04/2004 03:55:42 PM 24 Views
well - 23/04/2004 04:16:50 PM 20 Views
I see... - 24/04/2004 12:46:00 AM 5 Views
Sometime before he puts his ding-dong inside of you! *NM* - 23/04/2004 04:00:39 PM 11 Views
*rolls eyes.* What a male. *NM* - 23/04/2004 04:18:09 PM 3 Views
Eh... isn't that something one does in the very beginning? - 23/04/2004 04:39:28 PM 37 Views
*giggles.* - 23/04/2004 05:08:23 PM 31 Views
Nope, not really. - 23/04/2004 05:48:42 PM 20 Views
it was only a joke anyway jonte!! *NM* - 23/04/2004 05:49:38 PM 3 Views
Oh I hate these types of distinctions. - 23/04/2004 04:49:27 PM 23 Views
Just what I was thinking. - 23/04/2004 05:02:53 PM 18 Views
Let's flip the question. When are you someone's girlfriend? - 23/04/2004 05:06:56 PM 22 Views
I am trying to go slow - 23/04/2004 05:10:26 PM 23 Views
Re: I am trying to go slow - 23/04/2004 05:19:36 PM 12 Views
besides. It is not 4 months - 23/04/2004 05:49:03 PM 13 Views
Tell him to bugger off? - 23/04/2004 05:20:24 PM 23 Views
what is the - 23/04/2004 05:50:06 PM 20 Views
Re: When is someone your "boyfriend"? - 24/04/2004 05:51:38 AM 9 Views
American dating *NM* - 24/04/2004 06:00:25 AM 3 Views
Exactly. *NM* - 24/04/2004 03:36:23 PM 2 Views
good question, actually - 24/04/2004 03:13:03 PM 7 Views
If you really have to ask... - 24/04/2004 03:18:35 PM 7 Views
When you stop wondering if they are or not... - 24/04/2004 04:55:27 PM 3 Views