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well... in my defense... AlannaDawn - 24/04/2004 04:57:17 PM

I just can't quite figure this out. She's dating him. Doesn't that make him her boyfriend?
Nope. In fact, I have rarely had anyone I called my boyfriend. It is just a little too much for me. I think some of it may be because I am independent... Or so I like to think. I HATE when people don't know me, or refer to me as, "So and so's girlfriend." It makes me nuts!
And why would you date more than one person (this would be referring to her use of the word "exclusive&quot?
Why not??? Seriously!! I mean, if you are married fine, engaged, fine, and you have to understand that for me date is not the same as sleep with. I can understand you would think that sleeping with numerous people would be boggling... though a lot of people think that is perfectly fine too... BUT certainly, when you are going out and dating people, and meeting new people, why limit yourself to dating only one person??
Am I just naive for thinking that being exclusive should be a given in any relationship like that?
Maybe you are trying to impress someone. I am having trouble thinking that you wear blinders at all times and then once one "relationship" (and you seem to define this by, "we went out once or twice&quot is "over" then and only then can you look for someone new.
I am certainly enjoying his company, and I think he is a wonderful guy. Also, he is someone I am still getting to know, so I think it is a definite possibility I could be with him for the rest of my life, but I don't get why I am supposed to close off contact with other men (or women ) in any romantic way until I have made a "decision."
Am I naive for thinking that dating = boyfriend/girlfriend?
uh, here I have to say YES. But I guess it depends on your definition. To ME, certainly. But maybe the phrase does not translate. In spanish, Novia can mean FIANCE, and for me it is much the same. Sure, you aren't married, but you are COMMITTED to finding out if you could be. I am not there with this person yet, and I don't want hurt feelings on either side if the other person meets someone and wants to hang out with someone else TOO.
Wouldn't not being exclusive be like cheating on your partners? Whether or not they knew, that's how I would feel.
Well, I guess it depends on how you define cheating. This is the very gist of the entire question, by the way. It worried me that he called himself my boyfriend precisely because I WANT TO BE ABLE TO MEET NEW PEOPLE and date them should the opportunity arise and I don't want him to feel like I am cheating on him or betraying him!!! I mean, if he went out with someone else, I would think that was great. The fact that he is NOT doing that kind of worries me. I suppose I should just tell you, as it might help, he is recently divorced, and so am I. (Well, separated as of last February so over a year.) BUT I am not looking to get serious and he and I talked about that when we first started dating. So if you want to talk about someone betraying someone else, he is kind of cheating on our agreement!! We were supposed to be rebound buddies.
I just don't understand
Maybe you do now. And this is kinda nice; now the rest of wotmania can know too! Cathartic, if you will.



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I don't quite understand this... Re: AlannaDawn's question... - 24/04/2004 02:58:09 PM 231 Views
So naive, so very very naive... - 24/04/2004 03:00:32 PM 62 Views
OMG you don't?!?! - 24/04/2004 05:35:39 PM 21 Views
- 24/04/2004 05:39:17 PM 14 Views
Awww... it's otay babykins... - 24/04/2004 06:21:28 PM 11 Views
i'm not sure anyone 'understands' but here's some stuff i think - 24/04/2004 03:20:30 PM 49 Views
LOL... one more reason to love you. - 24/04/2004 05:34:47 PM 13 Views
*hugs!* yay! *NM* - 25/04/2004 01:21:49 PM 3 Views
Dating doesnt make one a de facto boyfriend/girlfriend - 24/04/2004 03:24:20 PM 33 Views
why are you asking me? I'myoung and stupid *NM* - 24/04/2004 03:24:44 PM 3 Views
You just have to know AlannaDawn and that type of woman.... - 24/04/2004 04:13:10 PM 47 Views
I love ya dylan and this is why - 24/04/2004 04:47:13 PM 35 Views
I think I... umm... - 24/04/2004 05:54:36 PM 23 Views
oh sure - 24/04/2004 05:59:08 PM 24 Views
I see... - 24/04/2004 06:13:58 PM 15 Views
well... in my defense... - 24/04/2004 04:57:17 PM 37 Views
First, I didn't mean to say anything you needed to get defensive over - 24/04/2004 06:11:26 PM 13 Views
nah - 24/04/2004 06:15:49 PM 14 Views
Re: nah - 24/04/2004 08:10:16 PM 7 Views
farmboy, don't worry, you're not nuts - 25/04/2004 05:23:42 PM 11 Views
Okay - 25/04/2004 05:31:49 PM 6 Views
I don't know... - 24/04/2004 05:24:53 PM 17 Views
*hugs* - 24/04/2004 06:15:03 PM 11 Views
I agree. They are the same in my book - 24/04/2004 06:15:05 PM 16 Views
i would say - 24/04/2004 06:24:41 PM 18 Views
Yeah, I felt similarly. I think you have a valid question. *NM* - 24/04/2004 07:59:19 PM 3 Views
it's just weird - 24/04/2004 11:01:14 PM 11 Views
Naive AND clueless about subjectivity. Here's why. - 25/04/2004 03:06:12 AM 9 Views