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Naive AND clueless about subjectivity. Here's why. The Logic Ninja - 25/04/2004 03:06:12 AM

I just can't quite figure this out. She's dating him. Doesn't that make him her boyfriend?
Not necessarily. "Boyfriend" means different things (and different levels of commitment) to different people. If you go out on a date or two with somebody, that doesn't necessarily make them your boyfriend. It can, if that's what it means to you, but it doesn't necssarily.

And why would you date more than one person (this would be referring to her use of the word "exclusive&quot?
Because you're not serious about any of them yet and vice versa?
Because you have an open relationship with all of them?

Am I just naive for thinking that being exclusive should be a given in any relationship like that?
Yes, and kind of ignorant. For one thing, plenty of people are capable of open or polyamorous relationships. For another, "light dating" can be with several people, because it's not gotten serious yet, even if you ARE monogamous. Please, be careful saying things about "ANY" relationship.

Am I naive for thinking that dating = boyfriend/girlfriend?
Not naive for this, really. But "boyfriend" typically implies a deeper level of commitment than "dating"'s early stages. Dating can include Boyfriend, but doesn't necessarily. Furthermore, these terms are highly subjective.

Wouldn't not being exclusive be like cheating on your partners? Whether or not they knew, that's how I would feel.
Cheating is nonconsentual. If they're fine with it, it's not cheating, and it's not harmful or wrong. If you couldn't handle that kind of relationship, fine--but some can.
And not being exclusive after a few dates just means you aren't very committed, to me. Because, come on, a few dates hardly equals a serious monoamorous relationship.

I just don't understand


I am not yet born, console me.
I fear that the human race may with tall walls wall me,
with strong drugs dope me, with wise lies lure me,
on black racks rack me, in blood-baths roll me.




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I don't quite understand this... Re: AlannaDawn's question... - 24/04/2004 02:58:09 PM 231 Views
So naive, so very very naive... - 24/04/2004 03:00:32 PM 62 Views
OMG you don't?!?! - 24/04/2004 05:35:39 PM 21 Views
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LOL... one more reason to love you. - 24/04/2004 05:34:47 PM 13 Views
*hugs!* yay! *NM* - 25/04/2004 01:21:49 PM 3 Views
Dating doesnt make one a de facto boyfriend/girlfriend - 24/04/2004 03:24:20 PM 33 Views
why are you asking me? I'myoung and stupid *NM* - 24/04/2004 03:24:44 PM 3 Views
You just have to know AlannaDawn and that type of woman.... - 24/04/2004 04:13:10 PM 47 Views
I love ya dylan and this is why - 24/04/2004 04:47:13 PM 35 Views
I think I... umm... - 24/04/2004 05:54:36 PM 23 Views
oh sure - 24/04/2004 05:59:08 PM 24 Views
I see... - 24/04/2004 06:13:58 PM 15 Views
well... in my defense... - 24/04/2004 04:57:17 PM 37 Views
First, I didn't mean to say anything you needed to get defensive over - 24/04/2004 06:11:26 PM 13 Views
nah - 24/04/2004 06:15:49 PM 14 Views
Re: nah - 24/04/2004 08:10:16 PM 7 Views
farmboy, don't worry, you're not nuts - 25/04/2004 05:23:42 PM 11 Views
Okay - 25/04/2004 05:31:49 PM 6 Views
I don't know... - 24/04/2004 05:24:53 PM 17 Views
*hugs* - 24/04/2004 06:15:03 PM 11 Views
I agree. They are the same in my book - 24/04/2004 06:15:05 PM 16 Views
i would say - 24/04/2004 06:24:41 PM 18 Views
Yeah, I felt similarly. I think you have a valid question. *NM* - 24/04/2004 07:59:19 PM 3 Views
it's just weird - 24/04/2004 11:01:14 PM 11 Views
Naive AND clueless about subjectivity. Here's why. - 25/04/2004 03:06:12 AM 9 Views