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There's not a wealth of eligible men from any race; maybe you should just stop dating entirely. Joel Send a noteboard - 23/03/2011 11:27:40 PM
Same logic applies to whites, Asians and every other ethnicity. Suppose this guy is the man of your dreams, perfect for you in every way--are such men so common and easily replaced that you'd pass one by out of some vague obligation to black women everywhere? It's the nature of the beast; every time someone finds a precious gem of humanity among the broken dross that is seemingly 90% of the species, one less is available for everyone else. From the standpoint of brutal statistics he's not much more likely to find Claire Huxtable than she is to find Cliff. That may be one reason he's not limiting his dating options to his own race, and if he's not worried about how many "eligible" black men are available for black women, why are you?

If he's somehow "meant" to be with some as yet undiscovered black woman ideally suited to him, nothing you do or don't do will prevent that; if not, pursuing a future with him costs neither of you anything, but refusing to do so could cost you both a great deal. Regardless, refusing to date someone to whom you're attracted, on the grounds that it's "inefficient resource allocation" because another girl would be very happy with him, seems like self-sabotage. Again, I think there's "a dearth of eligible" men and women in every race; what are you gonna do, exclusively date abusive unfaithful ex-cons so other women have a chance at happiness? Why not show yourself the same courtesy and compassion you show them?

For the record, no, I haven't dated outside my race (as such; as Americans, everyone but fellow mutts, including my wife, is "outside" our "race" ).
Honorbound and honored to be Bonded to Mahtaliel Sedai
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This message last edited by Joel on 23/03/2011 at 11:34:43 PM
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Interracial dating (in the dating dilemma series) - 23/03/2011 11:11:14 AM 2456 Views
I am not a black woman and I haven't done it - 23/03/2011 11:24:16 AM 1409 Views
Re: - 23/03/2011 11:38:31 AM 1401 Views
Independence Day reference? Good man. *NM* - 23/03/2011 08:28:35 PM 673 Views
john lennon... - 24/03/2011 01:08:20 PM 1459 Views
I dated a black girl for nearly 3 years. - 23/03/2011 12:29:26 PM 1436 Views
- 23/03/2011 12:57:08 PM 1419 Views
LMAO Jens, you know me too well - 23/03/2011 11:30:35 PM 1307 Views
And her mother is Muslim. - 24/03/2011 11:48:24 AM 1347 Views
What's it called? *NM* - 24/03/2011 10:36:28 PM 687 Views
please give him a moment to google an answer. *NM* - 25/03/2011 11:04:02 AM 691 Views
She said it's called Abu Haifa (sp?) - 25/03/2011 10:38:13 PM 1306 Views
Hm, okay. - 26/03/2011 12:16:02 AM 1462 Views
That was it, Abu Hanifa. I'm poor with Arabic. - 26/03/2011 01:08:12 AM 1417 Views
amazingly enough, I dont believe you. - 23/03/2011 11:32:26 PM 1444 Views
I'd prove it to you. - 24/03/2011 11:47:33 AM 1336 Views
God help me, I'm agreeing with Dragonsoul. - 24/03/2011 09:29:56 PM 1285 Views
I think he is making it up for the benefit of this comunity - 24/03/2011 10:03:21 PM 1423 Views
Sometimes I worry about "this community"... - 25/03/2011 11:33:17 PM 1530 Views
I think that would be a poor reason to not date someone - 23/03/2011 01:07:31 PM 1419 Views
I didn't even see the "cow & milk" analogy. - 24/03/2011 04:03:02 AM 1299 Views
being offensive makes it no less true - 24/03/2011 01:25:34 PM 1309 Views
It's true that after a certain age, average men have an easier time finding dates - 24/03/2011 01:31:35 PM 1291 Views
I don't date so I don't have personal experience - 24/03/2011 03:29:50 PM 1291 Views
I don't date either... :-) - 24/03/2011 03:42:33 PM 1506 Views
I think you're doing him a disservice. - 23/03/2011 02:16:59 PM 1398 Views
This. Plus, to try to frame it more in A's terms... - 23/03/2011 03:05:55 PM 1335 Views
It can add extra complications that negatively impact the likelihood of a successful relationship - 23/03/2011 02:50:39 PM 1324 Views
What I forgot to mention in the post - 23/03/2011 03:01:04 PM 1295 Views
Re: What I forgot to mention in the post - 24/03/2011 05:11:11 AM 1349 Views
I think you should date him. - 23/03/2011 03:02:56 PM 1238 Views
I think you should date this guy if you like him. - 23/03/2011 03:07:30 PM 1289 Views
I think that you're doing both of you a disservice. - 23/03/2011 03:09:29 PM 1340 Views
I agree with you. - 23/03/2011 03:26:02 PM 1326 Views
Well, you know your sis better than we do... - 23/03/2011 03:48:12 PM 1291 Views
Because you never know. - 23/03/2011 04:00:44 PM 1478 Views
Geez you know just the right things to say. - 24/03/2011 03:38:34 AM 1315 Views
LOL. ( Yes I really did laugh out loud) *NM* - 24/03/2011 03:55:22 AM 663 Views
Most of the other responses are ignoring your reasons. - 23/03/2011 03:34:56 PM 1260 Views
No one should try to think from "the perspective of black women", not even 1 black woman can do that - 23/03/2011 03:47:34 PM 1320 Views
Re - 23/03/2011 04:05:20 PM 1464 Views
Or - 23/03/2011 03:47:56 PM 1298 Views
We have no control over how other people act. - 23/03/2011 04:07:11 PM 1432 Views
I agree completely. - 23/03/2011 04:17:59 PM 1395 Views
This has to be one of the stupidest reasons for not dating someone I've ever heard. - 23/03/2011 03:54:15 PM 1327 Views
Your opinion: less than nothing. - 23/03/2011 04:10:24 PM 1398 Views
Who are you? - 23/03/2011 08:37:43 PM 1449 Views
It's extremely unlikely that Tom was offended. - 23/03/2011 09:04:42 PM 1348 Views
I'm glad you're back, by the way. These threads are great. *NM* - 23/03/2011 09:15:41 PM 701 Views
Thank you. *NM* - 24/03/2011 04:01:08 AM 691 Views
I'm not offended, only amused at your poor logic. - 23/03/2011 09:24:05 PM 1369 Views
That's lawyer logic! - 24/03/2011 03:50:37 AM 1294 Views
Is there any other kind? *NM* - 24/03/2011 02:05:27 PM 670 Views
Ooh that's harsh. - 24/03/2011 03:48:50 AM 1299 Views
This is all I get???? - 24/03/2011 03:54:22 AM 1354 Views
Oh, I appreciate. There's cake in the fridge *NM* - 24/03/2011 04:27:20 AM 647 Views
You two are sooo cute! *NM* - 24/03/2011 07:29:12 PM 556 Views
Yup. - 24/03/2011 01:42:16 AM 1393 Views
That's a good analogy. - 24/03/2011 03:50:17 AM 1422 Views
Shrug. She likes *me*. Plus, Jewish guys love Asian girls, well-known fact. - 24/03/2011 04:46:56 AM 1318 Views
What's wrong with wanting to preserve races or ethnic groups? - 24/03/2011 02:09:02 AM 1354 Views
When its the black race? *NM* - 24/03/2011 02:21:13 AM 679 Views
You're such an ass *NM* - 24/03/2011 02:52:12 AM 656 Views
*butts in* - 24/03/2011 02:45:26 AM 1377 Views
"It would be wrong, immortal [sic] even". - 24/03/2011 02:52:21 AM 1414 Views
Or potentially not (directly) from Africa - 24/03/2011 03:06:36 AM 1233 Views
I've only seen "identifies as" when someone is of mixed race. *NM* - 24/03/2011 03:09:51 AM 633 Views
You're absolutely right. - 24/03/2011 04:14:49 AM 1345 Views
Then your argument is even sillier, as mixed race is too white - 24/03/2011 09:50:15 AM 1205 Views
Is he "identifying as" black in a cultural context as well? - 24/03/2011 02:04:43 PM 1197 Views
Re: *butts in* - 24/03/2011 03:03:14 AM 1233 Views
You're a damn genius! - 24/03/2011 03:09:26 AM 1331 Views
I don't feel like one - 25/03/2011 01:17:07 AM 1290 Views
Re: This has to be one of the stupidest reasons for not dating someone I've ever heard. - 24/03/2011 04:07:36 AM 1356 Views
That could be argued in the opposite way just as easily. - 24/03/2011 09:48:16 AM 1295 Views
Huh - 25/03/2011 11:15:58 AM 1307 Views
Are you looking for reasons not to date him, or are you just being overly socially conscience? - 23/03/2011 08:12:48 PM 1299 Views
Ha. - 24/03/2011 04:17:26 AM 1318 Views
Heh, that really is the best thing *NM* - 24/03/2011 04:48:07 AM 680 Views
...wat. Is this a serious post? - 23/03/2011 08:23:04 PM 1312 Views
Kinda? - 24/03/2011 04:23:12 AM 1358 Views
I just broke up with my Pakistani girlfriend - 23/03/2011 08:24:52 PM 1306 Views
Heh heh heh heh - 23/03/2011 08:25:06 PM 1153 Views
Ha, I didn't even see that typo. - 24/03/2011 05:14:40 AM 1201 Views
<3 You Ana, BUT - 23/03/2011 08:44:11 PM 1298 Views
wait. did you..? - 24/03/2011 04:37:23 AM 1300 Views
Your taken aback by this why? - 24/03/2011 06:30:46 AM 1356 Views
I thought this was a great post. - 23/03/2011 10:26:08 PM 1361 Views
Glad I could entertain. *NM* - 24/03/2011 03:47:48 AM 615 Views
I understand what you are saying. - 23/03/2011 11:04:44 PM 1295 Views
An ally! Score! - 24/03/2011 03:56:53 AM 1254 Views
Aw, you're a darling. - 24/03/2011 04:26:39 AM 1306 Views
Also somebody brought up the valid point of his rights. - 26/03/2011 11:55:49 PM 1309 Views
There's not a wealth of eligible men from any race; maybe you should just stop dating entirely. - 23/03/2011 11:27:40 PM 1236 Views
Well, yeah. - 24/03/2011 04:49:47 AM 1160 Views
he is not a resource, he is a man. *NM* - 23/03/2011 11:29:37 PM 732 Views
Cock is a resource. *NM* - 23/03/2011 11:43:39 PM 646 Views
seriously? that is dumb. date the man. also, it is dehumanising to refer to him as a resource. - 24/03/2011 12:52:38 AM 1361 Views
This is exactly it. - 24/03/2011 04:02:10 AM 1375 Views
I didn't quite. I was talking about the economic principle. *NM* - 24/03/2011 04:42:57 AM 635 Views
<--Black Guy Post - 24/03/2011 12:57:13 AM 1449 Views
Re: - 24/03/2011 04:53:07 AM 1347 Views
Um. - 24/03/2011 01:00:47 AM 1469 Views
Well, according to stand-up comics who specialize in racially based humor... - 24/03/2011 01:29:35 AM 1360 Views
Practical advice. I like it. - 24/03/2011 03:58:24 AM 1368 Views
Practical advice! *NM* - 24/03/2011 03:58:34 AM 636 Views
... how did you? *NM* - 24/03/2011 04:31:14 AM 708 Views
I don't know! Our posts are about 1/10 of a second apart, freaky. *NM* - 24/03/2011 04:35:23 AM 637 Views
1/6 of a minute. But it's still a comical coincidence. *NM* - 24/03/2011 09:52:19 PM 671 Views
I present to you: A VISION OF THE FUTURE-UTRE-UTRE-UTRE - 24/03/2011 02:19:19 AM 1415 Views
Oh, that was awesome *NM* - 24/03/2011 03:37:01 AM 681 Views
+ 10 best post ever. I can't believe how funny that was. *NM* - 24/03/2011 03:54:39 AM 691 Views
What just happened? *NM* - 24/03/2011 04:04:45 AM 646 Views
*NM* - 24/03/2011 08:32:36 AM 571 Views
Awesome *NM* - 24/03/2011 09:03:13 AM 746 Views
I am currently dating a black woman... - 24/03/2011 06:29:03 AM 1303 Views
...I always figured your name was a Snow Crash reference *NM* - 24/03/2011 03:48:53 PM 668 Views
I have had the nickname longer than that has been out. *NM* - 24/03/2011 07:08:02 PM 692 Views
Don't date him. - 24/03/2011 09:44:30 AM 1304 Views
Its not likely anyone will read this comment since there are so many already - 24/03/2011 01:12:19 PM 1518 Views
She's not talking about welfare queens, she's talking about well educated black women - 24/03/2011 01:33:48 PM 1366 Views
It is. *NM* - 24/03/2011 09:33:01 PM 624 Views
this might help you understand what she is talking about - 25/03/2011 02:24:35 PM 1384 Views

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