1. It's not just third world people who are raised like your husband, you are probably correct about a majority of people like your friend, but not everyone who was born here has that under-developed work ethic, I was raised by farm oriented family ... and was working (without pay) at 10 years old ...

2. I am just seeking clarification on: "she feels she shouldn't have to resort to that because she was great at her job and worked her ass off at Goldman for 7 years only to get the boot with countless others" ... so she's had 7 years to plan for these types of eventualities and did nothing? It strikes me as odd that someone associated with finance could be that short sighted as to live paycheck to paycheck in such a good paying job without planning for contingencies? Did she live that far above her true means?

I guessI didnt mention the fact that she has a deadbeat ex husband that stopped paying his fair share because he lost his job in finance as well is a reason she is stretched so thin even with her savings, she didn't think she would be this long with the kind of job she had and she wasnt counting on her ex stopping his share of the payments for the kids, house, their joint credit card debt from before the divorce, her lawyers fees for taking him to court every few months to fight for the custody arrangements and all the other bullshit that comes with divorce. its an all around messy situation. and i know not everyone has her problems but its still a tough job market out there for thsoe looking for work. In my husbands field lots of high paying jobs that are beign done by americans are being shipped out to India, its gotten so bad that we have indian friends moving from America to India with their families to keep their jobs.

3. "its hard to go back to school and find something else you are good at after so long" - this is a falsehood. I went to school at a local community college with a number of dislocated employess from many different fields who either lost work, and they were taking their college courses for practically, and in some cases completely, free. I sympathize that she would have to find something else to do with her life, but come on - there are ways to help yourself in her situation if she's willing/motivated enough. I am not trying to heap condemnation on your friend or you, but it seems as if her pity party is keeping her from taking advantage of her options, and as her friend you should be pointing her in that direction. Change is Life, not just a part of it.

you are right, but this is one of those easier said than done cases


Just my take, hope your friend finds peace with whatever existence she manages to eek out,

-Roon