1) Have you ever been in a similar situation? Either as the parent, child, grandparent?
2) How, if at all, would having a different last name than your siblings affect you?
3) Would you feel offended if you were the biological grandparent in this type of situation?
My sister has a wonky situation with kids and names (divorce and now two different fathers). The way it turned out in our family, the actual "name" part wasn't what caused a problem. It was that one kid didn't understand why her dad (not really, but she didn't get that) only wanted to see her sister and not her. She didn't understand that it wasn't her father. In your case, not changing the name kinda puts this issue right in front of the kids' faces, and (even though I'm in favor of telling kids the truth early on) maybe it's better to avoid going deeply into details until they can understand it.
I say the grandparents should respect whatever the parents want to do, especially if the parents make an effort to represent themselves respectfully.
2) How, if at all, would having a different last name than your siblings affect you?
3) Would you feel offended if you were the biological grandparent in this type of situation?
My sister has a wonky situation with kids and names (divorce and now two different fathers). The way it turned out in our family, the actual "name" part wasn't what caused a problem. It was that one kid didn't understand why her dad (not really, but she didn't get that) only wanted to see her sister and not her. She didn't understand that it wasn't her father. In your case, not changing the name kinda puts this issue right in front of the kids' faces, and (even though I'm in favor of telling kids the truth early on) maybe it's better to avoid going deeply into details until they can understand it.
I say the grandparents should respect whatever the parents want to do, especially if the parents make an effort to represent themselves respectfully.
Changing your child's name...
- 02/11/2009 11:07:40 PM
1093 Views
I'm an observer.
- 02/11/2009 11:16:50 PM
868 Views
Is your brother going to actually adopt the child?
- 02/11/2009 11:54:20 PM
889 Views
My brother wants to, but...
- 03/11/2009 11:18:20 PM
822 Views
Does he pay child support?
- 04/11/2009 12:38:33 AM
727 Views
Never paid a dime.
- 04/11/2009 12:44:40 AM
723 Views
I'd only change the name if he adopted the son legally.
- 03/11/2009 12:23:08 AM
759 Views
I'm more interested in the feelings/needs of the child than the feelings of adults.
- 03/11/2009 01:16:49 AM
759 Views
My sister changed her name when she ascended to the Crystal Throne, may she live forever.
- 03/11/2009 02:52:35 AM
864 Views
I personally believe the boy should keep his biological fathers last name no matter what *NM*
- 03/11/2009 03:18:24 AM
345 Views
Are they changing his name to Clark Kent? If so, I don't think the kid will have a problem. *NM*
- 03/11/2009 04:04:35 AM
331 Views
I gave She her dad's last name, we weren't married, had no real intentions of getting married,
- 03/11/2009 05:10:31 AM
737 Views
Here are my thoughts (I have been in a somewhat similar situation).
- 03/11/2009 06:52:17 AM
844 Views