1) Have you ever been in a similar situation? Either as the parent, child, grandparent?
2) How, if at all, would having a different last name than your siblings affect you?
3) Would you feel offended if you were the biological grandparent in this type of situation?
My sister has a wonky situation with kids and names (divorce and now two different fathers). The way it turned out in our family, the actual "name" part wasn't what caused a problem. It was that one kid didn't understand why her dad (not really, but she didn't get that) only wanted to see her sister and not her. She didn't understand that it wasn't her father. In your case, not changing the name kinda puts this issue right in front of the kids' faces, and (even though I'm in favor of telling kids the truth early on) maybe it's better to avoid going deeply into details until they can understand it.
I say the grandparents should respect whatever the parents want to do, especially if the parents make an effort to represent themselves respectfully.
2) How, if at all, would having a different last name than your siblings affect you?
3) Would you feel offended if you were the biological grandparent in this type of situation?
My sister has a wonky situation with kids and names (divorce and now two different fathers). The way it turned out in our family, the actual "name" part wasn't what caused a problem. It was that one kid didn't understand why her dad (not really, but she didn't get that) only wanted to see her sister and not her. She didn't understand that it wasn't her father. In your case, not changing the name kinda puts this issue right in front of the kids' faces, and (even though I'm in favor of telling kids the truth early on) maybe it's better to avoid going deeply into details until they can understand it.
I say the grandparents should respect whatever the parents want to do, especially if the parents make an effort to represent themselves respectfully.
Changing your child's name...
- 02/11/2009 11:07:40 PM
1056 Views
I'm an observer.
- 02/11/2009 11:16:50 PM
837 Views
Is your brother going to actually adopt the child?
- 02/11/2009 11:54:20 PM
857 Views
My brother wants to, but...
- 03/11/2009 11:18:20 PM
781 Views
Does he pay child support?
- 04/11/2009 12:38:33 AM
693 Views
Never paid a dime.
- 04/11/2009 12:44:40 AM
694 Views
I'd only change the name if he adopted the son legally.
- 03/11/2009 12:23:08 AM
725 Views
I'm more interested in the feelings/needs of the child than the feelings of adults.
- 03/11/2009 01:16:49 AM
730 Views
My sister changed her name when she ascended to the Crystal Throne, may she live forever.
- 03/11/2009 02:52:35 AM
830 Views
I personally believe the boy should keep his biological fathers last name no matter what *NM*
- 03/11/2009 03:18:24 AM
329 Views
Are they changing his name to Clark Kent? If so, I don't think the kid will have a problem. *NM*
- 03/11/2009 04:04:35 AM
315 Views
I gave She her dad's last name, we weren't married, had no real intentions of getting married,
- 03/11/2009 05:10:31 AM
701 Views
Here are my thoughts (I have been in a somewhat similar situation).
- 03/11/2009 06:52:17 AM
815 Views