I hope you can do the same. Sometimes it helps to discover there are others who's minds work the same as ours. You don't feel like such a freak.
Be well, my friend. Are you doing any kind of therapy or taking antidepressants?
I started going after I attempted a few months back, but it's not really making much of a difference. Positive thinking and self-congratulations only do so much when these thoughts are pounding in my head 24/7. But I really don't mean to bitch, it is what it is.
Be well to you, as well. You have kids and grandkids to think about, so I'm willing to bet that only makes the thoughts worse. All I can really say is there's plenty of ways to speed your way there without making it overt, and hurting them terribly.
Try picking up a tobacco habit. Buy and drive a motorcycle. I (jokingly) say a little heroin never hurt anyone. So, you know, there is that. But, as Tom says further down, suicide is the cowards way out, but, you know, I'm a coward, so...
Regardless, I'd never recommend doing anything overtly stupid; don't pick up alcoholism and drive around. Killing yourself isn't cool, but inflicting that pain on some other family is something I (thankfully) can't wrap my head around.
