I'm referring to the various rights and privileges that a legal marriage bestows, such as visitation rights, adoption and legal powers. How much would remain unchanged if we did not grant people equal rights since it would force others to be unsettled with the change? If we went along with your argument (if I understand it correctly), we would still have slaves, women still would not vote, and we would still have the Prohibition. Would you have justified maintaining segregation based on "oh it would make the white people uncomfortable "? If an employer is racist or sexist, should he be allowed to deny wage and benefits to his colored or women workers? If a doctor disapproves of biracial marriages, should he be permitted to refuse to accept the insurance of his patient's spouse? Should he be permitted to deny the spouse's decisions in regards to the care of said spouse? Why is it more ethical to deny someone health insurance on the sole basis of the insurer disapproving of the gender of one's spouse? Do you also suggest that if an entity truly believes that blondes are idiots, it is ethical to refuse to employ people based on their hair color?

"forcing an employer to extend remuneration to a party because of a relationship that violates the employer's beliefs, etc"

Does this mean Christians need not extend insurance to Jews? If I was a Wiccan and you were my employer, you need not extend me the full benefits of similarly ranked and skilled employees? I'm certain, then, you would not mind if a doctor refused to treat your children because they were raised in a Christian household? And it is perfectly acceptable for a policeman to refuse to stop a homeless person from being robbed if they hate hobos.

Is it more ethical to let one's spouse lie ill because they cannot afford separate health insurance and an employer disapproves of their sexual orientation than for the employer to get all huffy about given the same benefits as they would give to a heterosexual couple? A century ago, it would have been a biracial couple, but if an employer did that now would you find it acceptable?