The gay marriage debate/controversy has always been an issue that has attracted my interest. As a young child, my knee jerk reaction was to relate the plight of gays to the plight of African-americans. This sympathy has, however, waned significantly in recent years. Only recently, have I come to a belief about gay marriage on which I'm quite firm and unmoving (though open to other ideas).
I know many on this site are open, mindful, accepting, and understanding of homosexuals (so perhaps this won't piss off nearly as many people as I hope ;P). And many of you might agree with my opinion on gay marriage. But for those of you who don't, I'd really like to hear how in the world you manage to believe what you do without realizing how glaringly inconsistent, mistaken, and sometimes homophobic you are being.
First, my opinion. I believe that opposition to civil unions between homosexuals is unfounded. I believe that opposition to marriage between homosexuals is unfounded. And I believe that any church or private institution that refuses to marry homosexuals, who are otherwise average citizens, ought to be made by power of law to marry homosexuals.
I recognize those last couple statements may come with some controversy, but hear me out. I promise that I will earnestly hear out any opinions/arguments against my own, as well.
But first, the civil unions argument. 1) Legally, there's no reason to deny homosexuals the right to be civilly united (that sounds awful btw). Certain rights come with being legally joined and homosexuals have every right to exercise those rights if they see fit. Religious definitions of marriage (i.e. that it is strictly between a man and a woman) need not come into play here since civil unions do not involve the church.
Before I move on, a bit more on this point for those who still aren't satisfied. Laws exist to preserve order and prevent anarchy or oppression. Laws with a purpose outside of this are superfluous, unconstitutional, and ought to be thrown out (that is not to say that there are not many laws like this, but the topic of this debate is gay marriage so we'll limit it to that). When laws are put in place without consideration as to how they preserve order and prevent lawlessness and oppression, fascism or anarchy results. For example, a law allowing luxury cars to run red lights would result in a significant amount of damage. Laws however demanding that all cars stop at red lights and stop signs, that we obey speed limits, etc., keep people safe and peaceful.
Prohibiting gay civil unions fulfills none of these categories. Gays will not, upon being legally joined, run through the streets causing damage. They will not negatively effect the ability of others to marry. So prohibition of gay marriage is without grounds.
Now, moving on to my later claims. i) The church defines marriage as the union of a man and a woman under god. ii) The bible also explicitly mentions that homosexuals are "abominations." (you can look that quote up if you want, I promise it's in there, I just can't recall what book, verse or chapter). These "reasons" are what Christians say are grounds for their refusal to acknowledge that gays can love each other eternally under god.
Statement (i) seems to be the most damaging to my points, because it is a definition of marriage. But why do Christians define marriage between a man and a woman? Christians imply that this statement specifies that gays ought not be included. However, that statement does not uphold to even the most basic scrutiny. First, we must recognize that when church doctrine concerning marriage was first established there were likely a significantly less number of homosexuals marrying each other. The context of the era was strictly hetero. The definition of marriage is more an explanation of what occurs rather than a textbook to guide us on future conclusions about marriage. At the VERY least, there is no overt indication int he bible that the definition of marriage provided is meant for us to assess marriage in the future. Even today, the Catholic Church is constantly revising its opinions in an effort to modernize and establish a working context. The era in which marriage was "defined" is nothing like the modern era. To hinge an entire argument on this simple definition, bereft of context and explanation is flimsy to say the least.
Of course, Christians may argue that God need not give explanations. What he says is simply enough. To those of you who say that, I pose the question, "How do you know what God meant by those words?" It is very likely that God was speaking only on society in that era. God certainly never mentioned about online porn. That is why Christianity must grow and reevaluate itself as the world changes. (That was why there were prophets. Every so often, one of them came along to "modernize" the religion with a new word of god, making things more clear and better fit for the area. It's a real shame we haven't had one in so long. I really wonder why that is.)
Now that we can throw out the definition of marriage as a valid argument, let's look at this whole "gays are abominations" sympathy that runs throughout Christianity. The bible clearly states that homosexuality is a sin and that gays are abominations. So why let them marry? They are bad people according to the bible. Well, because Christianity is a religion that bases itself on accepting sinners and wrongdoers. Does the Christian church regularly to refuse convicted felons? Wife-beaters? Terrorists? Pedophiles? Or any number of monsters who has been married under Christian tradition? The answer is an emphatic NO. Christianity embraces sinners, accepting them for their humanity and vulnerability. Seeking to help them better themselves, even if they make little real effort themselves. How then, can homosexuality be so above and beyond these other offenses that it would be unreasonable to marry one? If someone can answer that question without referring to the definition of marriage which I've just debunked, then please respond to this post or NB me.
Having analyzed the anti-gay marriage arguments available, I see no qualified reason to deny gays the right to marriage. In fact, refusal to marry someone based on sexual preference is discrimination and the government has grounds to force churches into marrying gays. Church and state might be separate, but that does not make churches a safe haven for law breaking and discrimination is breaking the law.
One cannot refuse to serve someone based on the color of their skin, their country of ancestry, or their favorite color. So why their sexual preference?
The only phenomenon that can explain this is the veiled homophobia that runs rampant in American society. It appalls me to see people so speciously argue against gay marriage.
If anyone can better explain to me the reasoning behind those against gay marriage, please let me know.
And for those Christians out there who are not against gay marriage and to whom this post is not in any way directed at, please do not feel like I'm berating all Christians. I know and care about many Christians, consider them close friends, and respectable people. But on this issue, I cannot understand their beliefs. Only homophobia explains them.
I know many on this site are open, mindful, accepting, and understanding of homosexuals (so perhaps this won't piss off nearly as many people as I hope ;P). And many of you might agree with my opinion on gay marriage. But for those of you who don't, I'd really like to hear how in the world you manage to believe what you do without realizing how glaringly inconsistent, mistaken, and sometimes homophobic you are being.
First, my opinion. I believe that opposition to civil unions between homosexuals is unfounded. I believe that opposition to marriage between homosexuals is unfounded. And I believe that any church or private institution that refuses to marry homosexuals, who are otherwise average citizens, ought to be made by power of law to marry homosexuals.
I recognize those last couple statements may come with some controversy, but hear me out. I promise that I will earnestly hear out any opinions/arguments against my own, as well.
But first, the civil unions argument. 1) Legally, there's no reason to deny homosexuals the right to be civilly united (that sounds awful btw). Certain rights come with being legally joined and homosexuals have every right to exercise those rights if they see fit. Religious definitions of marriage (i.e. that it is strictly between a man and a woman) need not come into play here since civil unions do not involve the church.
Before I move on, a bit more on this point for those who still aren't satisfied. Laws exist to preserve order and prevent anarchy or oppression. Laws with a purpose outside of this are superfluous, unconstitutional, and ought to be thrown out (that is not to say that there are not many laws like this, but the topic of this debate is gay marriage so we'll limit it to that). When laws are put in place without consideration as to how they preserve order and prevent lawlessness and oppression, fascism or anarchy results. For example, a law allowing luxury cars to run red lights would result in a significant amount of damage. Laws however demanding that all cars stop at red lights and stop signs, that we obey speed limits, etc., keep people safe and peaceful.
Prohibiting gay civil unions fulfills none of these categories. Gays will not, upon being legally joined, run through the streets causing damage. They will not negatively effect the ability of others to marry. So prohibition of gay marriage is without grounds.
Now, moving on to my later claims. i) The church defines marriage as the union of a man and a woman under god. ii) The bible also explicitly mentions that homosexuals are "abominations." (you can look that quote up if you want, I promise it's in there, I just can't recall what book, verse or chapter). These "reasons" are what Christians say are grounds for their refusal to acknowledge that gays can love each other eternally under god.
Statement (i) seems to be the most damaging to my points, because it is a definition of marriage. But why do Christians define marriage between a man and a woman? Christians imply that this statement specifies that gays ought not be included. However, that statement does not uphold to even the most basic scrutiny. First, we must recognize that when church doctrine concerning marriage was first established there were likely a significantly less number of homosexuals marrying each other. The context of the era was strictly hetero. The definition of marriage is more an explanation of what occurs rather than a textbook to guide us on future conclusions about marriage. At the VERY least, there is no overt indication int he bible that the definition of marriage provided is meant for us to assess marriage in the future. Even today, the Catholic Church is constantly revising its opinions in an effort to modernize and establish a working context. The era in which marriage was "defined" is nothing like the modern era. To hinge an entire argument on this simple definition, bereft of context and explanation is flimsy to say the least.
Of course, Christians may argue that God need not give explanations. What he says is simply enough. To those of you who say that, I pose the question, "How do you know what God meant by those words?" It is very likely that God was speaking only on society in that era. God certainly never mentioned about online porn. That is why Christianity must grow and reevaluate itself as the world changes. (That was why there were prophets. Every so often, one of them came along to "modernize" the religion with a new word of god, making things more clear and better fit for the area. It's a real shame we haven't had one in so long. I really wonder why that is.)
Now that we can throw out the definition of marriage as a valid argument, let's look at this whole "gays are abominations" sympathy that runs throughout Christianity. The bible clearly states that homosexuality is a sin and that gays are abominations. So why let them marry? They are bad people according to the bible. Well, because Christianity is a religion that bases itself on accepting sinners and wrongdoers. Does the Christian church regularly to refuse convicted felons? Wife-beaters? Terrorists? Pedophiles? Or any number of monsters who has been married under Christian tradition? The answer is an emphatic NO. Christianity embraces sinners, accepting them for their humanity and vulnerability. Seeking to help them better themselves, even if they make little real effort themselves. How then, can homosexuality be so above and beyond these other offenses that it would be unreasonable to marry one? If someone can answer that question without referring to the definition of marriage which I've just debunked, then please respond to this post or NB me.
Having analyzed the anti-gay marriage arguments available, I see no qualified reason to deny gays the right to marriage. In fact, refusal to marry someone based on sexual preference is discrimination and the government has grounds to force churches into marrying gays. Church and state might be separate, but that does not make churches a safe haven for law breaking and discrimination is breaking the law.
One cannot refuse to serve someone based on the color of their skin, their country of ancestry, or their favorite color. So why their sexual preference?
The only phenomenon that can explain this is the veiled homophobia that runs rampant in American society. It appalls me to see people so speciously argue against gay marriage.
If anyone can better explain to me the reasoning behind those against gay marriage, please let me know.
And for those Christians out there who are not against gay marriage and to whom this post is not in any way directed at, please do not feel like I'm berating all Christians. I know and care about many Christians, consider them close friends, and respectable people. But on this issue, I cannot understand their beliefs. Only homophobia explains them.
You must unlearn what you have learned.
Gay Marriage
- 12/08/2010 10:23:19 AM
2044 Views
I disagree on the latter part
- 12/08/2010 12:04:15 PM
1372 Views
I follow your point...
- 12/08/2010 12:14:17 PM
1359 Views
Suspect you would find plenty of denominations that would argue with you rather strenuously.
- 12/08/2010 12:24:55 PM
1398 Views
See, that's what I'm saying...
- 12/08/2010 07:37:26 PM
1325 Views
You didn't read my post.
- 12/08/2010 09:10:21 PM
1252 Views
Actually, you didn't read my post
- 12/08/2010 09:23:54 PM
1329 Views
Um, you're wrong.
- 12/08/2010 09:37:13 PM
1277 Views
- 12/08/2010 09:37:13 PM
1277 Views
Re: Um, you're wrong.
- 12/08/2010 09:44:17 PM
1248 Views
- 12/08/2010 09:44:17 PM
1248 Views
Boy Scouts of America v. Dale. And no, he described it accurately. *NM*
- 12/08/2010 09:53:31 PM
634 Views
You're still wrong.
- 12/08/2010 09:54:55 PM
1382 Views
- 12/08/2010 09:54:55 PM
1382 Views
Re: You're still wrong.
- 12/08/2010 09:58:26 PM
1235 Views
- 12/08/2010 09:58:26 PM
1235 Views
Again, you are still wrong.
- 12/08/2010 10:04:42 PM
1299 Views
- 12/08/2010 10:04:42 PM
1299 Views
Re: Again, you are still wrong.
- 12/08/2010 10:17:13 PM
1126 Views
- 12/08/2010 10:17:13 PM
1126 Views
Wrong definition of "club"
- 12/08/2010 10:30:52 PM
1385 Views
Re: Wrong definition of "club"
- 12/08/2010 10:40:55 PM
1292 Views
Also
- 12/08/2010 10:02:44 PM
1345 Views
And wrong again.
- 12/08/2010 10:08:24 PM
1362 Views
- 12/08/2010 10:08:24 PM
1362 Views
Not so quick!
- 12/08/2010 10:21:31 PM
1196 Views
- 12/08/2010 10:21:31 PM
1196 Views
Yes, so quick!
- 12/08/2010 10:32:13 PM
1147 Views
Let's be reasonable here
- 12/08/2010 10:41:53 PM
1253 Views
Why do you get to judge?
- 12/08/2010 10:48:57 PM
1284 Views
I don't
- 12/08/2010 10:53:21 PM
1173 Views
OK.
- 12/08/2010 10:58:22 PM
1280 Views
Re: OK.
- 12/08/2010 11:03:50 PM
1244 Views
Here's the thing: your opinion seems to be informed by the Roman Catholic Faith.
- 12/08/2010 11:14:03 PM
1191 Views
Re: Here's the thing: your opinion seems to be informed by the Roman Catholic Faith.
- 12/08/2010 11:23:35 PM
1300 Views
Then please stop.
- 12/08/2010 11:01:05 PM
1246 Views
- 12/08/2010 11:01:05 PM
1246 Views
What's wrong with discussion?
- 12/08/2010 11:05:48 PM
1202 Views
Discussion? Nothing. Your assertions about other people's views, something.
- 12/08/2010 11:09:48 PM
1219 Views
What, because the expressive message of scouting is anti-gay?
- 12/08/2010 10:12:54 PM
1114 Views
Re: What, because the expressive message of scouting is anti-gay?
- 12/08/2010 10:23:36 PM
1234 Views
Well then that brings us back to my question, which you have yet to answer.
- 12/08/2010 10:36:48 PM
1209 Views
Re: Well then that brings us back to my question, which you have yet to answer.
- 12/08/2010 10:46:22 PM
1310 Views
Not entirely true either... or, well, true as far as Brown goes.
- 12/08/2010 10:08:42 PM
1206 Views
Actually, I did. And since everyone else told you you're wrong about that I didn't see any need
- 12/08/2010 09:38:33 PM
1292 Views
Re: Actually, I did. And since everyone else told you you're wrong about that I didn't see any need
- 12/08/2010 09:55:05 PM
1196 Views
Gah.
- 12/08/2010 09:59:45 PM
1155 Views
What a mature response.
- 12/08/2010 10:11:00 PM
1356 Views
I can't speak for Rebekah, but I don't think the issue is that your points are invalid per se.
- 12/08/2010 10:22:30 PM
1160 Views
Um
- 12/08/2010 09:46:43 PM
1305 Views
That's a very good question. *NM*
- 12/08/2010 09:49:05 PM
607 Views
It makes no sense
- 12/08/2010 04:29:24 PM
1152 Views
Re: It makes no sense
- 12/08/2010 07:39:25 PM
1224 Views
Re: It makes no sense
- 12/08/2010 07:41:02 PM
1315 Views
Yes, but while marrying two murderers does not ensure that they will continue to murder...
- 12/08/2010 09:08:53 PM
1138 Views
Re: Yes, but while marrying two murderers does not ensure that they will continue to murder...
- 12/08/2010 09:42:21 PM
1247 Views
What other church sanctioned circumstances encourage continued sin?
- 12/08/2010 09:45:33 PM
1311 Views
Re: What other church sanctioned circumstances encourage continued sin?
- 13/08/2010 11:04:02 AM
1262 Views
Wow, it's almost like an entire denomination believes that!
*NM*
- 13/08/2010 03:41:07 PM
610 Views
- 13/08/2010 03:43:26 PM
1054 Views
*NM*
- 13/08/2010 03:41:07 PM
610 Views
- 13/08/2010 03:43:26 PM
1054 Views
Yeah, that's the Roman Catholic basis against masturbation and contraception. *NM*
- 13/08/2010 04:12:00 PM
575 Views
Yes
- 13/08/2010 04:22:58 PM
1095 Views
Dude....please at least have a working knowledge of the Bible before you spout off.
- 12/08/2010 10:47:13 PM
1124 Views
secular marriage is decoupled from religious marriage
- 12/08/2010 02:50:43 PM
1333 Views
Simple, require the legal and religious marriage to be performed separately.
- 12/08/2010 02:58:43 PM
1155 Views
And they are, in fact, separate right now in the US. They're just called the same thing.
- 12/08/2010 03:29:26 PM
1206 Views
It's not the same name that's confusing so much as the single ceremony. Or so it seems to me.
- 12/08/2010 03:37:20 PM
1210 Views
I disagree. I think giving the legal institution the same name as the sacrament is the problem.
- 12/08/2010 03:59:43 PM
1189 Views
What in the world would that accomplish?
- 12/08/2010 03:44:32 PM
1251 Views
Provide some much-needed clarity, evidently.
- 12/08/2010 03:49:33 PM
1085 Views
the problem is it would be changing a centuries old tradition..
- 12/08/2010 04:26:47 PM
1112 Views
heheheheheheheHAHAHAHEHEHehehehehahheeh*cough*
- 12/08/2010 04:55:09 PM
1135 Views
thats OK I am sure you will get over it
- 12/08/2010 05:22:08 PM
1146 Views
Just guessing, but I think it was the "centuries old tradition" that set off the giggle fit.
- 12/08/2010 07:25:38 PM
1259 Views
Really? I was hoping for something better
- 12/08/2010 10:06:00 PM
1205 Views
So government recognition makes your religion meaningful?
- 12/08/2010 10:11:54 PM
1296 Views
not my religion I'm agnostic
- 12/08/2010 10:34:40 PM
1147 Views
I'm not far left, thank you very much. *NM*
- 12/08/2010 10:20:31 PM
672 Views
no but your are European and that slants your views
*NM*
- 12/08/2010 10:36:01 PM
652 Views
*NM*
- 12/08/2010 10:36:01 PM
652 Views
Simples
- 12/08/2010 09:30:31 PM
1227 Views
there are about 140 post ranging from boyscouts to infant babtism
- 12/08/2010 10:57:46 PM
1186 Views
So.
- 14/08/2010 01:27:59 AM
1075 Views
sorry I responded I forgot what a tool you are. my bad
- 14/08/2010 02:48:57 AM
1586 Views
You spout some utter gibberish then dish out insults when called on it? Very funny
- 15/08/2010 12:47:04 PM
1410 Views
- 15/08/2010 12:47:04 PM
1410 Views
Agreed *NM*
- 12/08/2010 03:45:04 PM
529 Views
I love you, Camilla
- 12/08/2010 04:02:15 PM
1019 Views
Re: I love you, Camilla
- 12/08/2010 04:04:10 PM
1221 Views
A couple of things
- 12/08/2010 12:58:09 PM
1200 Views
there is major flaw in your argument
- 12/08/2010 03:31:45 PM
1334 Views
Re: there is major flaw in your argument
- 12/08/2010 04:01:32 PM
1221 Views
I should clarify that I support gay marriage
- 12/08/2010 05:20:36 PM
1153 Views
One point about Prop. 8
- 12/08/2010 07:38:55 PM
1188 Views
I know that is the commonl;y held belief but I thinkit is wrong
- 12/08/2010 10:32:58 PM
1118 Views
Religious institutions, though, pushed hard to pass it.
- 12/08/2010 10:42:33 PM
1204 Views
that doesn’t translate into people voting for religious reasons
- 12/08/2010 11:19:48 PM
1022 Views
Bigotry and Fear that are supported and encouraged by religious institutions.
- 12/08/2010 11:32:30 PM
1190 Views
there are major flaws in your argument
- 12/08/2010 07:51:52 PM
1335 Views
Women can't be priests in the Catholic church.
- 12/08/2010 08:00:24 PM
978 Views
Forcing religious institutions to marry gay couples is hideously unconstitutional.
- 12/08/2010 04:18:59 PM
1295 Views
You are absolutely wrong
- 12/08/2010 07:57:19 PM
1239 Views
Your arguments are so specious and stupid I don't know where to begin.
- 13/08/2010 05:04:17 AM
1162 Views
Why do people equate....
- 12/08/2010 07:11:15 PM
1187 Views
Because "homophobic", like "xenophobic", has shifted a bit in meaning...
- 12/08/2010 07:33:56 PM
1231 Views
Because your reasons for being against gay marriage are so specious *NM*
- 12/08/2010 07:59:42 PM
668 Views
I particularly enjoy the implied assumption that your a good enough judge of my motivations. *NM*
- 12/08/2010 09:24:14 PM
631 Views
Re: Why do people equate....
- 12/08/2010 08:04:24 PM
1398 Views
+1
- 12/08/2010 08:06:19 PM
1344 Views
Stop with the pile on Camilla.
- 12/08/2010 09:22:35 PM
1265 Views
You would have said nothing if I had just said "agreed"
- 12/08/2010 09:27:33 PM
1093 Views
Which speaks highly of you....
- 12/08/2010 09:36:30 PM
1269 Views
This is being very petty. *NM*
- 12/08/2010 09:41:26 PM
617 Views
As opposed to a snarky +1 comment? *NM*
- 12/08/2010 09:45:02 PM
638 Views
It's not snarky.
- 12/08/2010 09:47:47 PM
1245 Views
Its a +1 shorthand comment...
- 12/08/2010 09:52:04 PM
1500 Views
Wow. Those two characters allowed you to read Camilla's motivations?
- 12/08/2010 09:54:25 PM
1141 Views
Re: Why do people equate....
- 12/08/2010 09:13:07 PM
1334 Views
you are exactly why the state needs to make a clear seperation between the secular and religious
- 12/08/2010 09:33:22 PM
1194 Views
Ok, so if the state does then...
- 12/08/2010 09:44:31 PM
1118 Views
No, marriage started because of property.
- 12/08/2010 09:59:14 PM
1211 Views
So then two things come to mind...
- 12/08/2010 10:04:39 PM
1194 Views
Only two?
- 12/08/2010 10:27:08 PM
1189 Views
- 12/08/2010 10:27:08 PM
1189 Views
That's a little difficult to do
- 13/08/2010 03:19:32 PM
1404 Views
Re: That's a little difficult to do
- 13/08/2010 03:30:14 PM
1236 Views
yes but about half of the old testament deals with protecting those rights
- 13/08/2010 05:16:09 PM
1180 Views
The relationship between religion and rain go even farther back...
- 13/08/2010 06:15:32 PM
1191 Views
Actually, I agree with that
- 12/08/2010 10:01:37 PM
1082 Views
See, what I don't get is why gay people care about
- 12/08/2010 08:18:45 PM
1186 Views
It's mostly about getting married in the eyes of the state.
- 12/08/2010 08:42:52 PM
1293 Views
I'm fairly sure Jonte was referring only to the "churches have to accept gay marriages" bit. *NM*
- 12/08/2010 08:44:52 PM
667 Views
Starting again
- 12/08/2010 08:23:08 PM
1312 Views
Not at all
- 12/08/2010 10:58:45 PM
1210 Views
Re: Not at all
- 13/08/2010 09:14:48 AM
1011 Views
Agreed *NM*
- 13/08/2010 10:21:06 AM
512 Views
Oh dear
- 13/08/2010 10:30:45 AM
1109 Views
I suppose you also think that religious Pacifists should be eligible for the draft?
- 12/08/2010 08:42:21 PM
1263 Views

*NM*
*NM*
*NM*