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Its not likely anyone will read this comment since there are so many already MalkierKnight Send a noteboard - 24/03/2011 01:12:19 PM
Have you done it? Could you please specify your/the other person's race?

Here's my dilemma. I'm white. (It's nice to meet you.) I recently went out with a guy who identifies as black (African American) - a first for me, which is statistically significant. I feel it would be wrong for me to date this guy because of the dearth of eligible black men. There are anecdotal facts like there are more black men currently in jail than attending college. Black women who are looking to date within their race (and many prefer to, for several reasons) face a well-documented crisis: intelligent, college-educated, professional black women VASTLY outnumber their male peers.

I feel it would be wrong, even immortal, for me to exacerbate that shortage. While I have no preference for his demographical type, many other women would. If I were to date this guy, it would simply an inefficient allocation of resources.

What do you think?


but i wonder where your idea that educated successful black women VASTLY outnumber the same sort of black men comes from? just because a black woman is not in jail doesnt mean she isnt neglecting her kids, hoarding welfare, and not getting a job. it strikes me that many successful black men want OUT of this sort of person as much as successful black women do. its just a tragedy and fact of culture and society that a higher percentage of black people fail to succeed in society the way white and asian people do.
You must unlearn what you have learned.
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Interracial dating (in the dating dilemma series) Aeryn - 23/03/2011 11:11:14 AM 2097 Views
I am not a black woman and I haven't done it ironclad - 23/03/2011 11:24:16 AM 1053 Views
Re: Aeryn - 23/03/2011 11:38:31 AM 1091 Views
Independence Day reference? Good man. *NM* Ghavrel - 23/03/2011 08:28:35 PM 536 Views
john lennon... MalkierKnight - 24/03/2011 01:08:20 PM 1081 Views
If you limit your dating pool by race you really have no reason to complain Camilla - 23/03/2011 11:57:48 AM 1004 Views
I dated a black girl for nearly 3 years. Dragonsoul - 23/03/2011 12:29:26 PM 1113 Views
ironclad - 23/03/2011 12:57:08 PM 1127 Views
LMAO Jens, you know me too well Aisha - 23/03/2011 11:30:35 PM 1006 Views
And her mother is Muslim. Dragonsoul - 24/03/2011 11:48:24 AM 1033 Views
What's it called? *NM* Legolas - 24/03/2011 10:36:28 PM 544 Views
please give him a moment to google an answer. *NM* Aisha - 25/03/2011 11:04:02 AM 549 Views
She said it's called Abu Haifa (sp?) Dragonsoul - 25/03/2011 10:38:13 PM 1046 Views
Hm, okay. Legolas - 26/03/2011 12:16:02 AM 1165 Views
That was it, Abu Hanifa. I'm poor with Arabic. Dragonsoul - 26/03/2011 01:08:12 AM 1087 Views
amazingly enough, I dont believe you. Aisha - 23/03/2011 11:32:26 PM 1143 Views
I'd prove it to you. Dragonsoul - 24/03/2011 11:47:33 AM 999 Views
God help me, I'm agreeing with Dragonsoul. Ghavrel - 24/03/2011 09:29:56 PM 1011 Views
I think he is making it up for the benefit of this comunity Aisha - 24/03/2011 10:03:21 PM 1113 Views
Sometimes I worry about "this community"... Joel - 25/03/2011 11:33:17 PM 1208 Views
I think that would be a poor reason to not date someone random thoughts - 23/03/2011 01:07:31 PM 1123 Views
Can you edit your post and take out the cow analogies? Thanks. *NM* Vivien - 23/03/2011 03:31:51 PM 551 Views
I didn't even see the "cow & milk" analogy. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:03:02 AM 983 Views
being offensive makes it no less true random thoughts - 24/03/2011 01:25:34 PM 993 Views
It's true that after a certain age, average men have an easier time finding dates Helene - 24/03/2011 01:31:35 PM 966 Views
I don't date so I don't have personal experience random thoughts - 24/03/2011 03:29:50 PM 982 Views
I don't date either... :-) Helene - 24/03/2011 03:42:33 PM 1191 Views
I think you're doing him a disservice. nossy - 23/03/2011 02:16:59 PM 1086 Views
This. Plus, to try to frame it more in A's terms... Sareitha Sedai - 23/03/2011 03:05:55 PM 1014 Views
It can add extra complications that negatively impact the likelihood of a successful relationship Helene - 23/03/2011 02:50:39 PM 1022 Views
What I forgot to mention in the post Helene - 23/03/2011 03:01:04 PM 988 Views
Re: What I forgot to mention in the post Aeryn - 24/03/2011 05:11:11 AM 1045 Views
If you have a lot in common with him and like him and are attracted to him Helene - 24/03/2011 09:41:01 AM 946 Views
I think you should date him. Palatine - 23/03/2011 03:02:56 PM 972 Views
I think you should date this guy if you like him. Morgawse - 23/03/2011 03:07:30 PM 977 Views
I think that you're doing both of you a disservice. Jeordam - 23/03/2011 03:09:29 PM 1028 Views
I agree with you. Vivien - 23/03/2011 03:26:02 PM 1030 Views
And my opinion matters more than everyone else here combined! MWAHAHAHAHAHA Vivien - 23/03/2011 03:28:06 PM 964 Views
Well, you know your sis better than we do... ironclad - 23/03/2011 03:48:12 PM 999 Views
Because you never know. Vivien - 23/03/2011 04:00:44 PM 1154 Views
Geez you know just the right things to say. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 03:38:34 AM 1019 Views
LOL. ( Yes I really did laugh out loud) *NM* Vivien - 24/03/2011 03:55:22 AM 528 Views
Most of the other responses are ignoring your reasons. Vivien - 23/03/2011 03:34:56 PM 952 Views
No one should try to think from "the perspective of black women", not even 1 black woman can do that Helene - 23/03/2011 03:47:34 PM 996 Views
Re Vivien - 23/03/2011 04:05:20 PM 1116 Views
I'm sure that Aeryn is lovely, but she's not the only lovely white woman in the world Helene - 24/03/2011 09:43:32 AM 1011 Views
Or nossy - 23/03/2011 03:47:56 PM 995 Views
We have no control over how other people act. Vivien - 23/03/2011 04:07:11 PM 1124 Views
I agree completely. nossy - 23/03/2011 04:17:59 PM 1078 Views
And it's a bit silly to determine for someone else who he should be dating *NM* Helene - 24/03/2011 09:33:09 AM 510 Views
This has to be one of the stupidest reasons for not dating someone I've ever heard. Tom - 23/03/2011 03:54:15 PM 1031 Views
Your opinion: less than nothing. Vivien - 23/03/2011 04:10:24 PM 1111 Views
Who are you? Dark Knight - 23/03/2011 08:37:43 PM 1150 Views
It's extremely unlikely that Tom was offended. Vivien - 23/03/2011 09:04:42 PM 1028 Views
I'm glad you're back, by the way. These threads are great. *NM* Ghavrel - 23/03/2011 09:15:41 PM 542 Views
Thank you. *NM* Vivien - 24/03/2011 04:01:08 AM 547 Views
I'm not offended, only amused at your poor logic. Tom - 23/03/2011 09:24:05 PM 1065 Views
That's lawyer logic! Vivien - 24/03/2011 03:50:37 AM 993 Views
Is there any other kind? *NM* Tom - 24/03/2011 02:05:27 PM 542 Views
Ooh that's harsh. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 03:48:50 AM 955 Views
This is all I get???? Vivien - 24/03/2011 03:54:22 AM 1056 Views
Oh, I appreciate. There's cake in the fridge *NM* Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:27:20 AM 507 Views
You two are sooo cute! *NM* ironclad - 24/03/2011 07:29:12 PM 412 Views
+1, though I probably wouldn't have said it in quite the same way. Joel - 23/03/2011 11:03:07 PM 992 Views
Yup. beetnemesis - 24/03/2011 01:42:16 AM 1094 Views
That's a good analogy. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 03:50:17 AM 1081 Views
Shrug. She likes *me*. Plus, Jewish guys love Asian girls, well-known fact. beetnemesis - 24/03/2011 04:46:56 AM 988 Views
So it's not her choice who she wants to date, but everyone around her?? Helene - 24/03/2011 09:39:58 AM 996 Views
What's wrong with wanting to preserve races or ethnic groups? ßelals Girl - 24/03/2011 02:09:02 AM 1055 Views
When its the black race? *NM* Urza - 24/03/2011 02:21:13 AM 543 Views
You're such an ass *NM* ßelals Girl - 24/03/2011 02:52:12 AM 519 Views
*butts in* nossy - 24/03/2011 02:45:26 AM 1049 Views
"It would be wrong, immortal [sic] even". Tom - 24/03/2011 02:52:21 AM 1080 Views
Or potentially not (directly) from Africa nossy - 24/03/2011 03:06:36 AM 936 Views
I've only seen "identifies as" when someone is of mixed race. *NM* Tom - 24/03/2011 03:09:51 AM 500 Views
You're absolutely right. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:14:49 AM 1020 Views
Then your argument is even sillier, as mixed race is too white Helene - 24/03/2011 09:50:15 AM 902 Views
Is he "identifying as" black in a cultural context as well? Tom - 24/03/2011 02:04:43 PM 884 Views
Re: *butts in* ßelals Girl - 24/03/2011 03:03:14 AM 940 Views
You're a damn genius! nossy - 24/03/2011 03:09:26 AM 1039 Views
I don't feel like one ßelals Girl - 25/03/2011 01:17:07 AM 1009 Views
Re: This has to be one of the stupidest reasons for not dating someone I've ever heard. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:07:36 AM 1042 Views
That could be argued in the opposite way just as easily. Helene - 24/03/2011 09:48:16 AM 974 Views
Huh Aeryn - 25/03/2011 11:15:58 AM 991 Views
Are you looking for reasons not to date him, or are you just being overly socially conscience? Beqi - 23/03/2011 08:12:48 PM 1014 Views
Ha. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:17:26 AM 997 Views
Heh, that really is the best thing *NM* beetnemesis - 24/03/2011 04:48:07 AM 542 Views
...wat. Is this a serious post? Ghavrel - 23/03/2011 08:23:04 PM 1001 Views
Kinda? Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:23:12 AM 1060 Views
I just broke up with my Pakistani girlfriend Dark Knight - 23/03/2011 08:24:52 PM 964 Views
Heh heh heh heh snoopcester - 23/03/2011 08:25:06 PM 865 Views
Ha, I didn't even see that typo. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 05:14:40 AM 895 Views
<3 You Ana, BUT Urza - 23/03/2011 08:44:11 PM 991 Views
wait. did you..? Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:37:23 AM 1014 Views
Your taken aback by this why? Urza - 24/03/2011 06:30:46 AM 1062 Views
I thought this was a great post. Legolas - 23/03/2011 10:26:08 PM 1042 Views
Glad I could entertain. *NM* Aeryn - 24/03/2011 03:47:48 AM 480 Views
I understand what you are saying. Tashmere - 23/03/2011 11:04:44 PM 982 Views
An ally! Score! Vivien - 24/03/2011 03:56:53 AM 966 Views
Aw, you're a darling. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:26:39 AM 1021 Views
Also somebody brought up the valid point of his rights. Tashmere - 26/03/2011 11:55:49 PM 1004 Views
There's not a wealth of eligible men from any race; maybe you should just stop dating entirely. Joel - 23/03/2011 11:27:40 PM 947 Views
Well, yeah. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:49:47 AM 852 Views
The critically large word is "if"; your reasoning is setting off massive circular claxons for me. Joel - 25/03/2011 11:30:15 PM 805 Views
he is not a resource, he is a man. *NM* Aisha - 23/03/2011 11:29:37 PM 593 Views
Cock is a resource. *NM* Urza - 23/03/2011 11:43:39 PM 501 Views
"Efficient allocation of cock?" Oh my, that sounds really wrong. *NM* Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:32:23 AM 522 Views
seriously? that is dumb. date the man. also, it is dehumanising to refer to him as a resource. temeraire - 24/03/2011 12:52:38 AM 1048 Views
This is exactly it. Dan - 24/03/2011 04:02:10 AM 1059 Views
I didn't quite. I was talking about the economic principle. *NM* Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:42:57 AM 511 Views
<--Black Guy Post Daiyon - 24/03/2011 12:57:13 AM 1131 Views
Re: Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:53:07 AM 1052 Views
Um. rebelaessedai - 24/03/2011 01:00:47 AM 1147 Views
Well, according to stand-up comics who specialize in racially based humor... TaskmasterJack - 24/03/2011 01:29:35 AM 1027 Views
Practical advice. I like it. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 03:58:24 AM 1057 Views
Practical advice! *NM* Vivien - 24/03/2011 03:58:34 AM 507 Views
... how did you? *NM* Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:31:14 AM 534 Views
I don't know! Our posts are about 1/10 of a second apart, freaky. *NM* Vivien - 24/03/2011 04:35:23 AM 497 Views
1/6 of a minute. But it's still a comical coincidence. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 24/03/2011 09:52:19 PM 522 Views
But that means if he's OK with it he's a commodity more rare and valuable than gold. Joel - 25/03/2011 11:37:48 PM 942 Views
I present to you: A VISION OF THE FUTURE-UTRE-UTRE-UTRE beetnemesis - 24/03/2011 02:19:19 AM 1138 Views
Oh, that was awesome *NM* Aeryn - 24/03/2011 03:37:01 AM 528 Views
+ 10 best post ever. I can't believe how funny that was. *NM* Timthetrolloc - 24/03/2011 03:54:39 AM 577 Views
What just happened? *NM* Ghavrel - 24/03/2011 04:04:45 AM 491 Views
*NM* ironclad - 24/03/2011 08:32:36 AM 429 Views
Awesome *NM* Stephen - 24/03/2011 09:03:13 AM 606 Views
I am currently dating a black woman... MightyYT - 24/03/2011 06:29:03 AM 1000 Views
...I always figured your name was a Snow Crash reference *NM* beetnemesis - 24/03/2011 03:48:53 PM 527 Views
I have had the nickname longer than that has been out. *NM* MightyYT - 24/03/2011 07:08:02 PM 544 Views
Don't date him. Stephen - 24/03/2011 09:44:30 AM 999 Views
Its not likely anyone will read this comment since there are so many already MalkierKnight - 24/03/2011 01:12:19 PM 1109 Views
She's not talking about welfare queens, she's talking about well educated black women Helene - 24/03/2011 01:33:48 PM 1055 Views
It is. *NM* Ghavrel - 24/03/2011 09:33:01 PM 495 Views
this might help you understand what she is talking about random thoughts - 25/03/2011 02:24:35 PM 1017 Views
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