They've given up on the little, pointless arguments about making the other one do something they have no interest in doing.
I don't think there's any sense in having pointless arguments. However, I think that spending a holiday with a relative doesn't necessarily fall into a category of complete meaninglessness. That's more like arguing over not putting on the toothpaste cap, or who should take out the trash. Of course, we'd probably have to know how the question was asked. E.g. she could have said: "I'm going to my mum's for Easter, want to come along?" Which is very different from the scenario I'm envisioning. And of course, we're not even thinking about the mum herself. She might be a right horror.
Of course a relationship also consist of compromises and doing things for each other, as you say. Maybe this just isn't the best example. I am sure he does plenty of things for her he doesn't feel like doing.
Admittedly, I get the impression that he doesn't go out of his way to do nice things for her, that would make her feel appreciated and special. He generally speaks of her in a slightly condescending way.
To stick to this example, why would couples have to do everything together anyway?
I don't recall saying that couples need to do everything together? I think that's unhealthy. But there's a difference between doing things separately, and not doing something together your partner has asked you to do together.
Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down?
19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM
- 1997 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but...
19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM
- 1135 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM*
19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM
- 559 Views
inlaws are not always bad
19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM
- 1046 Views
I think they are right
19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM
- 1270 Views
I see your point
19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM
- 1229 Views
Re: I think they are right
19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM
- 1098 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption.
19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM
- 1026 Views
What he said about his wife's mother
19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM
- 1198 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels.
20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM
- 947 Views
No offense...
19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM
- 1172 Views
yes but have you found such a thing?
19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM
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For now I have
*NM*
19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
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how long has it been? *NM*
19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM
- 551 Views
Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges.
20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM
- 1116 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM
- 1100 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM
- 1083 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM
- 1114 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with.
*NM*
19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
- 543 Views

I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM*
20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM
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I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but
20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM
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that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it"
*NM*
20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
- 510 Views

The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM
- 1210 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have
19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM
- 1052 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married
19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM
- 1090 Views
How did things change?
19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM
- 1091 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this.
20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM
- 1170 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself
20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM
- 1100 Views
I know.
20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM
- 1333 Views
Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM
- 1009 Views
From the information that you have presented...
19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM
- 1280 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian.
19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM
- 1027 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future)
19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM
- 1103 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am.
19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM
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Could go either way.
19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM
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I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa
19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM
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I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce.
19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM
- 1045 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family
19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM
- 1056 Views
I think this is about priorities.
20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM
- 1200 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families.
20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
- 1005 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them
19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM
- 1057 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way.
20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM
- 1077 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes"
20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM
- 1041 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies)
20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM
- 1097 Views