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Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai Send a noteboard - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM
It might mean more to him not to have to go than it does to her to have him go (if that makes sense)

It made sense to me. ;)


Oh good :D

My only question there is if it was so important to him to not go, why didn't he say so instead of going with the cop-out "I'll think about it" line? Would you not be more willing to accept an honest answer you didn't like than for your husband to try and dodge the bullet entirely? I know my wife would, with me.


I would absolutely prefer it. But if every time I got an honest answer I went all screeching-howler-monkey on him about it, I couldn't really blame him for trying to avoid that while still not committing to doing something he really didn't want to do.

I have a feeling I'm getting too involved with this discussion, though: as you said, only the man and his wife truly know the status of their relationship. But on the other hand, I'm surrounded by middle-aged female co-workers who gripe about their husbands all the time, and how clueless they typically are. ;) :P


Ugh, I can't stand husband bashing (or wife bashing for that matter, but the former seems much more common). I always have to bite back the "if he's that awful why on earth are you staying with him" response because I understand it's a typical female social bonding exercise. It's just one I abhor and refuse to participate in.
If you are from Betelgeuse, please have one of your Earth friends read what I've written before you respond. Or try concentrating harder.

"The trophy problem has become extreme."
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Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down? - 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM 2301 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but... - 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM 1413 Views
Fair enough - 19/04/2011 10:01:51 AM 1369 Views
inlaws are not always bad - 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM 1347 Views
I spend way more time with my in-laws than with my own family. - 19/04/2011 02:17:41 PM 1318 Views
I'm like this with my future in-laws too. *NM* - 19/04/2011 04:47:05 PM 680 Views
I think they are right - 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM 1538 Views
I see your point - 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM 1517 Views
Re: I think they are right - 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM 1431 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption. - 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM 1307 Views
What he said about his wife's mother - 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM 1458 Views
No offense... - 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM 1449 Views
yes but have you found such a thing? - 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM 1383 Views
For now I have *NM* - 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM 707 Views
how long has it been? *NM* - 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM 704 Views
Don't try to corrupt me with your long term pessimism - 19/04/2011 03:34:39 PM 1305 Views
sadly I seem attracted to the crazies *NM* - 19/04/2011 04:08:14 PM 666 Views
Could be either - 19/04/2011 10:30:50 AM 1442 Views
True enough... - 19/04/2011 10:44:28 AM 1399 Views
My opinion is the latter. - 19/04/2011 01:55:00 PM 1419 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM 1416 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM 1358 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 02:13:25 PM 1489 Views
I should have read this first. - 19/04/2011 02:25:16 PM 1414 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM 1418 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot - 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM 1513 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have - 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM 1316 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married - 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM 1395 Views
How did things change? - 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM 1443 Views
Like I said I can only speak for myself - 19/04/2011 04:54:04 PM 1400 Views
There's already a 10 year old in the picture for us - 19/04/2011 06:52:44 PM 1392 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this. - 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM 1512 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself - 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM 1426 Views
I know. - 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM 1648 Views
Sorry for some reason I thought you had just got married. - 20/04/2011 09:52:24 PM 1842 Views
Good luck to them! *NM* - 22/04/2011 04:25:38 AM 693 Views
From the information that you have presented... - 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM 1530 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian. - 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM 1331 Views
Could go either way. - 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM 1334 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa - 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM 1363 Views
Giving up is one thing, growing past is another. - 19/04/2011 10:00:55 PM 1319 Views
Oh, to be fair, he's the friend and she's the wife - 20/04/2011 08:43:12 AM 1249 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce. - 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM 1336 Views
I think this is about priorities. - 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM 1517 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families. - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM 1323 Views
Even when younger, I was independent. - 20/04/2011 05:29:59 AM 1272 Views
*nods* - 20/04/2011 06:25:29 AM 1398 Views
- 22/04/2011 04:29:32 AM 1590 Views
Not the former for sure, and maybe not the latter. - 19/04/2011 05:55:03 PM 1387 Views
Can't tell. - 19/04/2011 10:04:27 PM 1332 Views
I'm with the 'can't tell' crowd. - 19/04/2011 11:37:17 PM 1746 Views
hell, or she could just not care too much at all - 19/04/2011 11:43:21 PM 1325 Views
I'm leaning more towards your interpretation. *NM* - 20/04/2011 02:15:22 AM 650 Views
I'm with you on this. *NM* - 20/04/2011 10:00:41 AM 734 Views
*sigh* - 20/04/2011 09:25:02 PM 1455 Views
Re: I mean, it's not good. *NM* - 20/04/2011 11:50:21 PM 637 Views

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