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Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai Send a noteboard - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM
It might mean more to him not to have to go than it does to her to have him go (if that makes sense)

It made sense to me. ;)


Oh good :D

My only question there is if it was so important to him to not go, why didn't he say so instead of going with the cop-out "I'll think about it" line? Would you not be more willing to accept an honest answer you didn't like than for your husband to try and dodge the bullet entirely? I know my wife would, with me.


I would absolutely prefer it. But if every time I got an honest answer I went all screeching-howler-monkey on him about it, I couldn't really blame him for trying to avoid that while still not committing to doing something he really didn't want to do.

I have a feeling I'm getting too involved with this discussion, though: as you said, only the man and his wife truly know the status of their relationship. But on the other hand, I'm surrounded by middle-aged female co-workers who gripe about their husbands all the time, and how clueless they typically are. ;) :P


Ugh, I can't stand husband bashing (or wife bashing for that matter, but the former seems much more common). I always have to bite back the "if he's that awful why on earth are you staying with him" response because I understand it's a typical female social bonding exercise. It's just one I abhor and refuse to participate in.
If you are from Betelgeuse, please have one of your Earth friends read what I've written before you respond. Or try concentrating harder.

"The trophy problem has become extreme."
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Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down? Helene - 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM 1726 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but... Urza - 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM 897 Views
Fair enough Helene - 19/04/2011 10:01:51 AM 841 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM 409 Views
inlaws are not always bad random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM 805 Views
I spend way more time with my in-laws than with my own family. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:17:41 PM 797 Views
I'm like this with my future in-laws too. *NM* Clover - 19/04/2011 04:47:05 PM 395 Views
I think they are right ironclad - 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM 1013 Views
I see your point Helene - 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM 966 Views
Re: I think they are right Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM 855 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM 785 Views
What he said about his wife's mother Helene - 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM 946 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM 692 Views
No offense... ironclad - 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM 941 Views
yes but have you found such a thing? random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM 847 Views
For now I have *NM* ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM 415 Views
how long has it been? *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM 403 Views
Don't try to corrupt me with your long term pessimism ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:34:39 PM 799 Views
sadly I seem attracted to the crazies *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:08:14 PM 395 Views
Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM 886 Views
Could be either snoopcester - 19/04/2011 10:30:50 AM 895 Views
True enough... Helene - 19/04/2011 10:44:28 AM 885 Views
My opinion is the latter. Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:55:00 PM 886 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM 843 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Macharius - 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM 818 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations snoopcester - 19/04/2011 02:13:25 PM 967 Views
I should have read this first. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:25:16 PM 900 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM 859 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM 399 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM* Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM 369 Views
I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM 983 Views
that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM* LadyLorraine - 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM 374 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM 963 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have Helene - 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM 816 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM 846 Views
How did things change? Helene - 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM 869 Views
Like I said I can only speak for myself random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:54:04 PM 861 Views
There's already a 10 year old in the picture for us Helene - 19/04/2011 06:52:44 PM 791 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM 894 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself random thoughts - 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM 833 Views
I know. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM 1066 Views
Sorry for some reason I thought you had just got married. random thoughts - 20/04/2011 09:52:24 PM 1312 Views
Good luck to them! *NM* rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:25:38 AM 380 Views
Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot Tihs Tnuc - 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM 768 Views
From the information that you have presented... Jeordam - 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM 989 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian. Helene - 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM 796 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future) Jeordam - 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM 870 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am. Helene - 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM 840 Views
Could go either way. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM 815 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa Helene - 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM 799 Views
Giving up is one thing, growing past is another. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 10:00:55 PM 758 Views
Oh, to be fair, he's the friend and she's the wife Helene - 20/04/2011 08:43:12 AM 737 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce. Clover - 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM 797 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family random thoughts - 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM 810 Views
I think this is about priorities. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM 942 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families. Clover - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM 801 Views
Even when younger, I was independent. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 05:29:59 AM 700 Views
*nods* Clover - 20/04/2011 06:25:29 AM 868 Views
rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:29:32 AM 1089 Views
Not the former for sure, and maybe not the latter. Palatine - 19/04/2011 05:55:03 PM 841 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM 824 Views
Can't tell. nossy - 19/04/2011 10:04:27 PM 765 Views
I'm with the 'can't tell' crowd. Antigone - 19/04/2011 11:37:17 PM 1069 Views
hell, or she could just not care too much at all LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 11:43:21 PM 781 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM 797 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes" Helene - 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM 796 Views
That would still be a deal breaker for me. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 11:49:09 PM 799 Views
I'm leaning more towards your interpretation. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 20/04/2011 02:15:22 AM 359 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies) Vivien - 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM 843 Views
I'm with you on this. *NM* Camilla - 20/04/2011 10:00:41 AM 411 Views
*sigh* Yunalesca - 20/04/2011 09:25:02 PM 917 Views
Re: I mean, it's not good. *NM* Gaps - 20/04/2011 11:50:21 PM 353 Views
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