I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them
LadyLorraine Send a noteboard - 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM
No couple is exactly what the textbooks would like to compare to. the end result of these events will entirely depend on this couple's dynamics between themselves, and with her family, as well as the priorities of the individuals involved.
On one hand, this could be her disengaging from a potential fight (not him, just the fight) because she has decided that "in-law time" is less important than "not arguing". The impact of this depends on whether this is just because she hates arguing, OR whether their particular situation makes "in-law time", even on holidays, relatively trivial in the greater scheme of things. If it's not IMPORTANT for either party for him to go, then avoiding the argument makes sense. Why fuss over something that doesn't matter that much to you?
However, if it is important for her that he goes and she has "given up" trying to get him to spend time with her family on a holiday, that bodes worse for their relationship. I can't say whether it will end in break up, but it will certainly lead to fighting and tension.
If this is a compromise over something relatively unimportant to her, then I think it would be a positive development indicating successful communication and compromise in a relationship.
If it's her giving up on something important to her, I think it is an indicator of a poor prognosis.
On one hand, this could be her disengaging from a potential fight (not him, just the fight) because she has decided that "in-law time" is less important than "not arguing". The impact of this depends on whether this is just because she hates arguing, OR whether their particular situation makes "in-law time", even on holidays, relatively trivial in the greater scheme of things. If it's not IMPORTANT for either party for him to go, then avoiding the argument makes sense. Why fuss over something that doesn't matter that much to you?
However, if it is important for her that he goes and she has "given up" trying to get him to spend time with her family on a holiday, that bodes worse for their relationship. I can't say whether it will end in break up, but it will certainly lead to fighting and tension.
If this is a compromise over something relatively unimportant to her, then I think it would be a positive development indicating successful communication and compromise in a relationship.
If it's her giving up on something important to her, I think it is an indicator of a poor prognosis.
Still Empress of the Poofy Purple Pillow Pile Palace!!
Continued Love of my Aussie <3
Continued Love of my Aussie <3
This message last edited by LadyLorraine on 19/04/2011 at 07:26:25 PM
Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down?
- 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM
2271 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but...
- 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM
1382 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM*
- 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM
695 Views
inlaws are not always bad
- 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM
1316 Views
I think they are right
- 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM
1507 Views
Re: I think they are right
- 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM
1403 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption.
- 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM
1273 Views
What he said about his wife's mother
- 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM
1426 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels.
- 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM
1184 Views
No offense...
- 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM
1419 Views
yes but have you found such a thing?
- 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM
1351 Views
For now I have
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
690 Views
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
690 Views
how long has it been? *NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM
688 Views
Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges.
- 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM
1371 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM
1376 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM
1325 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM
1386 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with.
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
666 Views
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
666 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM*
- 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM
661 Views
I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but
- 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM
1467 Views
that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it"
*NM*
- 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
637 Views
*NM*
- 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
637 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
- 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM
1485 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have
- 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM
1288 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married
- 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM
1352 Views
How did things change?
- 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM
1404 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this.
- 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM
1482 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself
- 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM
1396 Views
I know.
- 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM
1598 Views
Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
- 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM
1256 Views
From the information that you have presented...
- 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM
1504 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian.
- 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM
1298 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future)
- 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM
1349 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am.
- 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM
1341 Views
Could go either way.
- 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM
1306 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa
- 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM
1325 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce.
- 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM
1298 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family
- 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM
1319 Views
I think this is about priorities.
- 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM
1479 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families.
- 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
1292 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them
- 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM
1326 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way.
- 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM
1320 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes"
- 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM
1283 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies)
- 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM
1356 Views
