To stick to this example, why would couples have to do everything together anyway? She wants to see her mum, let her. He doesn't, so he can stay watch football. I think they handle it well. At least if she doesn't really hold a grudge and as long as there are instances where he does indeed go out of his way to please her.
There is a difference between "an afternoon at mum's", and "Easter Sunday dinner". If I were to decline a holiday dinner like that with my wife, there would be Hell to pay because holiday dinners are important to her. I don't know if that's the case with this guy's wife or not - but I'd assume it would be or she wouldn't have asked in the first place.
We just don't have enough information to make that determination. The mother could be horrible. They could already spend tons of time over there. Easter might not mean anything to him. Or yes, he could just be an asshat. But then I'd say he was probably an asshat when she married him, and she picked him anyway
There are definitely things I ask my husband to do with me that I expect he'll say no to (and vice versa), but we still ask each other because every once in awhile the answer is yes. Whatever this wife's reason for not pursuing the argument about it, it's more likely a positive sign for the relationship than a negative one. We can argue and beg and wheedle and cajole and manipulate and attempt to influence and control as much as we want, but in the end we can't make anyone do anything. Not getting into another repetitive fight about it shows acceptance on her part and prevents further damage to the relationship from the fighting.
If you are from Betelgeuse, please have one of your Earth friends read what I've written before you respond. Or try concentrating harder.
"The trophy problem has become extreme."
"The trophy problem has become extreme."
Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down?
- 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM
1726 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but...
- 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM
897 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM*
- 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM
409 Views
inlaws are not always bad
- 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM
805 Views
I think they are right
- 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM
1014 Views
Re: I think they are right
- 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM
855 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption.
- 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM
786 Views
What he said about his wife's mother
- 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM
946 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels.
- 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM
692 Views
No offense...
- 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM
941 Views
yes but have you found such a thing?
- 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM
847 Views
For now I have 
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
415 Views
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
415 Views
how long has it been? *NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM
403 Views
Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges.
- 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM
886 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM
843 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM
818 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM
859 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. 
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
399 Views
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
399 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM*
- 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM
370 Views
I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but
- 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM
983 Views
that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM*
- 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
375 Views
*NM*
- 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
375 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
- 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM
964 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have
- 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM
816 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married
- 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM
846 Views
How did things change?
- 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM
869 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this.
- 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM
895 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself
- 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM
834 Views
I know.
- 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM
1066 Views
Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
- 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM
768 Views
From the information that you have presented...
- 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM
990 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian.
- 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM
796 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future)
- 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM
870 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am.
- 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM
841 Views
Could go either way.
- 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM
815 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa
- 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM
799 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce.
- 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM
797 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family
- 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM
810 Views
I think this is about priorities.
- 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM
942 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families.
- 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
801 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them
- 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM
824 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way.
- 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM
797 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes"
- 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM
796 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies)
- 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM
843 Views