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I think that's an unfair assumption. Sareitha Sedai Send a noteboard - 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM
To stick to this example, why would couples have to do everything together anyway? She wants to see her mum, let her. He doesn't, so he can stay watch football. I think they handle it well. At least if she doesn't really hold a grudge and as long as there are instances where he does indeed go out of his way to please her.


There is a difference between "an afternoon at mum's", and "Easter Sunday dinner". If I were to decline a holiday dinner like that with my wife, there would be Hell to pay because holiday dinners are important to her. I don't know if that's the case with this guy's wife or not - but I'd assume it would be or she wouldn't have asked in the first place.


We just don't have enough information to make that determination. The mother could be horrible. They could already spend tons of time over there. Easter might not mean anything to him. Or yes, he could just be an asshat. But then I'd say he was probably an asshat when she married him, and she picked him anyway :P

There are definitely things I ask my husband to do with me that I expect he'll say no to (and vice versa), but we still ask each other because every once in awhile the answer is yes. Whatever this wife's reason for not pursuing the argument about it, it's more likely a positive sign for the relationship than a negative one. We can argue and beg and wheedle and cajole and manipulate and attempt to influence and control as much as we want, but in the end we can't make anyone do anything. Not getting into another repetitive fight about it shows acceptance on her part and prevents further damage to the relationship from the fighting.

If you are from Betelgeuse, please have one of your Earth friends read what I've written before you respond. Or try concentrating harder.

"The trophy problem has become extreme."
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Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down? Helene - 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM 2193 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but... Urza - 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM 1316 Views
Fair enough Helene - 19/04/2011 10:01:51 AM 1266 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM 651 Views
inlaws are not always bad random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM 1246 Views
I spend way more time with my in-laws than with my own family. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:17:41 PM 1214 Views
I'm like this with my future in-laws too. *NM* Clover - 19/04/2011 04:47:05 PM 629 Views
I think they are right ironclad - 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM 1439 Views
I see your point Helene - 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM 1413 Views
Re: I think they are right Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM 1290 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM 1196 Views
What he said about his wife's mother Helene - 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM 1357 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM 1116 Views
No offense... ironclad - 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM 1349 Views
yes but have you found such a thing? random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM 1282 Views
For now I have *NM* ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM 649 Views
how long has it been? *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM 643 Views
Don't try to corrupt me with your long term pessimism ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:34:39 PM 1218 Views
sadly I seem attracted to the crazies *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:08:14 PM 614 Views
Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM 1295 Views
Could be either snoopcester - 19/04/2011 10:30:50 AM 1330 Views
True enough... Helene - 19/04/2011 10:44:28 AM 1304 Views
My opinion is the latter. Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:55:00 PM 1303 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM 1299 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Macharius - 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM 1250 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations snoopcester - 19/04/2011 02:13:25 PM 1382 Views
I should have read this first. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:25:16 PM 1311 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM 1288 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM 628 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM* Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM 601 Views
I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM 1400 Views
that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM* LadyLorraine - 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM 587 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM 1388 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have Helene - 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM 1210 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM 1288 Views
How did things change? Helene - 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM 1295 Views
Like I said I can only speak for myself random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:54:04 PM 1289 Views
There's already a 10 year old in the picture for us Helene - 19/04/2011 06:52:44 PM 1264 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM 1391 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself random thoughts - 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM 1293 Views
I know. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM 1503 Views
Sorry for some reason I thought you had just got married. random thoughts - 20/04/2011 09:52:24 PM 1738 Views
Good luck to them! *NM* rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:25:38 AM 619 Views
Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot Tihs Tnuc - 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM 1178 Views
From the information that you have presented... Jeordam - 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM 1439 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian. Helene - 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM 1234 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future) Jeordam - 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM 1291 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am. Helene - 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM 1270 Views
Could go either way. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM 1231 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa Helene - 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM 1249 Views
Giving up is one thing, growing past is another. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 10:00:55 PM 1217 Views
Oh, to be fair, he's the friend and she's the wife Helene - 20/04/2011 08:43:12 AM 1153 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce. Clover - 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM 1228 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family random thoughts - 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM 1247 Views
I think this is about priorities. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM 1389 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families. Clover - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM 1220 Views
Even when younger, I was independent. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 05:29:59 AM 1175 Views
*nods* Clover - 20/04/2011 06:25:29 AM 1295 Views
rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:29:32 AM 1479 Views
Not the former for sure, and maybe not the latter. Palatine - 19/04/2011 05:55:03 PM 1296 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM 1250 Views
Can't tell. nossy - 19/04/2011 10:04:27 PM 1218 Views
I'm with the 'can't tell' crowd. Antigone - 19/04/2011 11:37:17 PM 1646 Views
hell, or she could just not care too much at all LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 11:43:21 PM 1225 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM 1248 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes" Helene - 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM 1216 Views
That would still be a deal breaker for me. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 11:49:09 PM 1217 Views
I'm leaning more towards your interpretation. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 20/04/2011 02:15:22 AM 597 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies) Vivien - 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM 1281 Views
I'm with you on this. *NM* Camilla - 20/04/2011 10:00:41 AM 653 Views
*sigh* Yunalesca - 20/04/2011 09:25:02 PM 1356 Views
Re: I mean, it's not good. *NM* Gaps - 20/04/2011 11:50:21 PM 580 Views
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