... is that what you're doing is wrong, and that one way or another it has to stop before you hurt your wife.

If you actually want to hear opinions, then that really is an opinion. Even if you haven't physically cheated yet, it sounds like you're pretty deep into emotional cheating.

Another opinion? I think that if you dedicate yourself to a person, you ought to be dedicated to that person. Maybe there's nothing wrong with a little friendly flirting, but what you've described sounds a lot worse than that. If you actually need that feeling and can't get it from your wife, then maybe marriage isn't for you. If you don't literally need it, if you can live without it, and if your wife means more to you than that feeling, then stop.

If there's something that's tempting to you, that you're maybe sort of addicted to like you describe, then you have a choice. Either you keep playing with it until you get burned, or you man up and make a decision one way or another. Is the addiction and temptation worth the risk, worth the possible eventual consequences? If not, then stop. Whatever it takes, be stronger than it. Because in the end it's a choice.

I can't speak for your wife, but if I were married to someone and I found out they were making deep, emotional connections to other guys, flirting with them and touching them and barely resisting the urge to have an affair with them, I would not be happy at all. It would hurt pretty damn badly. I wouldn't want to be married to someone who would do that to me.

My advice is, be a better person, make the change in yourself, do it the hard way. If you love your wife, do it for her.

If you can't, or if you refuse to try, then you're putting someone else's happiness on the line so you can satisfy your own, and in my opinion that sort of unilateral selfishness doesn't belong in a marriage.