I don't think harmless flirting is wrong. But what I'm doing is not harmless. I take it too far. I want to get to the point where I feel no inclination, or at least able to stop the flirting when it goes too far. It's my personality. I love to flirt. But I need to keep it under control, to where the woman is completely aware that I'm not serious in my flirting.
Well, cutting out the parts of your earlier description where you're making calculated touches to the hand would be a start. You also talk about constantly thinking of ways to integrate yourself into a woman's life. This is a crazy idea, but maybe just don't act on them? You're a rational human being with control over his own actions. You have choices. Start making them, and turn them into better habits.
If you take it too far, if you can't help but take it too far, then maybe you really do need to consider flat out stopping, for the sake of your marriage. I personally feel that wanting to have your cake and eat it too will lead to nothing but trouble. It's like being an alcoholic who says he wants to stop drinking, but also wants to keep buying alcohol and holding the bottles. I'm not saying it's impossible ... but seriously. You married her. This is not an area for half-measures and risks.
If you had to choose flat out between giving up flirting and giving up your marriage, which would you choose? And would you be able to follow through with that choice?
Warder to starry_nite
Chapterfish — Nate's Writing Blog
http://chapterfish.wordpress.com
Chapterfish — Nate's Writing Blog
http://chapterfish.wordpress.com
I am on the verge of having an affair
11/02/2013 11:41:57 PM
- 1677 Views
Ditch the wife or stop being a prat.
12/02/2013 12:30:30 AM
- 939 Views
Great. Helpful advice
12/02/2013 12:33:36 AM
- 810 Views
What exactly do you want to hear?
12/02/2013 12:47:06 AM
- 796 Views
I don't know, something helpful
12/02/2013 12:59:23 AM
- 860 Views
The telling you to grow up bit wasn't the advice
12/02/2013 01:09:54 AM
- 817 Views
So there is no situation in which advice helps?
12/02/2013 01:23:21 AM
- 858 Views
I didn't say nobody could help you at all
12/02/2013 01:41:19 AM
- 828 Views
My opinion ...
12/02/2013 01:21:38 AM
- 866 Views
That's not really advice
12/02/2013 01:28:42 AM
- 853 Views
Why is it obvious?
12/02/2013 01:42:26 AM
- 875 Views
That's exactly what I'm looking for
12/02/2013 02:11:51 AM
- 1050 Views
I don't know if that's realistic.
12/02/2013 05:46:48 AM
- 809 Views
Get therapy or get a divorce. Your wife deserves better than the person you're being now. *NM*
12/02/2013 04:00:38 AM
- 457 Views
Careful you don't fall off that high horse
12/02/2013 04:53:11 AM
- 879 Views
You might try 4chan. Their morals seem more in line with the ones you're currently espousing. *NM*
13/02/2013 09:29:04 AM
- 412 Views
What exactly did you want to hear?
12/02/2013 04:31:56 AM
- 770 Views
role play. *NM*
12/02/2013 04:41:07 AM
- 454 Views
I appreciate something other than judgment. Thank you!
12/02/2013 04:51:56 AM
- 869 Views
i was poly for a decade. maybe that's a thing to consider? opening your marriage for both of you?
13/02/2013 05:12:06 AM
- 768 Views
If you don't have kids, then just leave the marriage or have an open relationship. *NM*
12/02/2013 05:19:27 AM
- 411 Views
You have 4 options
12/02/2013 06:03:43 AM
- 792 Views
Number one is not an option, it is a looming and growing disaster.
13/02/2013 02:57:19 PM
- 808 Views
I'm not sure there's enough context to offer much useful advice, but I'd line up incentives
12/02/2013 08:29:41 AM
- 881 Views
I don't judge you. I am exactly the same way.
12/02/2013 01:56:58 PM
- 956 Views
I don't give a shit about polyamory. I give a shit about honesty.
13/02/2013 09:26:56 AM
- 811 Views
Do you want help making a decision, or validation of one already made?
13/02/2013 02:47:59 PM
- 861 Views
Hehe, love that things are pretty much the same around here. *NM*
14/02/2013 12:29:56 AM
- 434 Views