I think you're still missing my point. If my spouse commits a crime and I am questioned or I am called to let the police into my home on a search warrant they do not need to inform my employer of anything to do with the case. If there are in proceedings in which I need time off to testify or "cooperate" with police actions then it is MY responsibility to tell my employer why I need to leave, need time off, etc.
Maybe the military is different but I don't think so (with what knowledge I have). It would be her responsibility to explain to her superiors what was happening or why she needed leave. If she chose to lie or tell the truth (and thus be discharged) would be her prerogative. Still, what the police did was unethical and they had no business whatsoever informing her employer of anything. She was not charged with anything or investigated for anything. There was nothing about the case at all that the military needed to know unless she disclosed it to them.