The whole situation is basically loaded with a small horde of Catch-22's. I think, morally, she should have told her chaplain, who could have kept it in confidence and is basically the person who contacts loved ones in case of injuries, etc. Other than that, no not much she could do, sucky, but USAF obviously agreed, the various rules she broke would not for other cases have resulted in an honorable discharge. It wasn't really something the commander would be able to ignore, and they do go out of their way to ignore this stuff, most DADT kick outs are apparently guys claiming gay to avoid deploying or just get out early. There's a standing joke that if a soldier walked in to see the commander with photos of a guy performing fellatio the response would be 'Ah, I see Pvt Snuffy was obviously bitten by a venomous snake and his battle buddy was trying to suck out the poison', so its doubtful anyone in USAF was trying to fry her.