...throw a weasel at your face. How do you respond?

*shrugs* i'd make friends with the weasel in hopes that it wouldn't disfigure me.

...render you unconscious, dress you in red silk pajamas, and put you in bed with Carrot Top. How do you respond?

kill carrot top. easy.

...force you at gunpoint...no wait, bananapoint. Yeah, that's it, bananapoint. Let's say I force you at bananapoint to juggle 5 chainsaws over a pit of boiling oil, while threatening to shave funny designs into the fur of your pet poodle should you refuse. How do you respond?

i never liked poodles anyway...

...kiss you like you have never been kissed before. How do you respond?

with surprise. if i enjoyed it, i'd return the favour. if not, well...

...eat all the potato chips in your house. How do you respond?

*shrugs* i don't think we have any anyway.

...replace your printer cartridge with white ink. How do you respond?

i don't actually print stuff. but it'd be nice to have a functioning printer again, as mine has been out of commission for nearly two years.

...use Photoshop and make some compromising pictures of you and George Bush to sell to the Enquirer. How do you respond?

shortly after puking up my stomach lining and copious amounts of blood, i'd commit ritual suicide. (but i'd try to have you killed beforehand, of course)

...hide Chucky dolls randomly around your house. How do you respond?

*shrugs*

...throw random smileys at you like they were ninja stars. How do you respond?

i'd recoil in horror.

...arrange for you to have dinner with either Bob Dylan or Michael Jordan. How do you respond?

pass on both.

...blow up France. How do you respond?

i'd prolly smile. i might even cheer.

...tie you to a treadmill that powers the electrical system in my house. How do you respond?

well, see...i have this problem with static buildup that i can't seem to rid myself of. i don't see this being a good thing for your house or anyone inside it.


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