...throw a weasel at your face. How do you respond? with the FO-look... it's SOP
...render you unconscious, dress you in red silk pajamas, and put you in bed with Carrot Top. How do you respond? As Carrot Top is a person/thing not within my frames of reference, I'd hurt you bad.

...force you at gunpoint...no wait, bananapoint. Yeah, that's it, bananapoint. Let's say I force you at bananapoint to juggle 5 chainsaws over a pit of boiling oil, while threatening to shave funny designs into the fur of your pet poodle should you refuse. How do you respond? I'd say kill the poodle... *hates them*

...kiss you like you have never been kissed before. How do you respond? I'd be very surprised if you Frenched my nose

...eat all the potato chips in your house. How do you respond? You'd be welcome to them.

...replace your printer cartridge with white ink. How do you respond? Not care...

...use Photoshop and make some compromising pictures of you and George Bush to sell to the Enquirer. How do you respond? LMAO and sell them an exclusive tell-all interview.

...hide Chucky dolls randomly around your house. How do you respond? Give them to the nearest orphanage

...throw random smileys at you like they were ninja stars. How do you respond? Thank you very much.

...arrange for you to have dinner with either Bob Dylan or Michael Jordan. How do you respond? For dinner with Bob Dylan? I'd show you unearthly pleasures

...blow up France. How do you respond?
Feel sorry for all the dead grapes.

...tie you to a treadmill that powers the electrical system in my house. How do you respond? Untie myself.


Harsh world be damned,
let's make a stand...

Saknar Korybjörnen™