...throw a weasel at your face. How do you respond?

duck

...render you unconscious, dress you in red silk pajamas, and put you in bed with Carrot Top. How do you respond?

neuter you

...force you at gunpoint...no wait, bananapoint. Yeah, that's it, bananapoint. Let's say I force you at bananapoint to juggle 5 chainsaws over a pit of boiling oil, while threatening to shave funny designs into the fur of your pet poodle should you refuse. How do you respond?

peel your banana.......both of them

...kiss you like you have never been kissed before. How do you respond?

remove your tongue with a rusty blade.

...eat all the potato chips in your house. How do you respond?

thank you.....they were stale anyhow.

...replace your printer cartridge with white ink. How do you respond?

use colored paper.

...use Photoshop and make some compromising pictures of you and George Bush to sell to the Enquirer. How do you respond?

the aformentioned kneecapping would be appropriate.

...hide Chucky dolls randomly around your house. How do you respond?

distract him with random barbie dolls

...throw random smileys at you like they were ninja stars. How do you respond?

throw random stars at you like they were ninja smileys.

...arrange for you to have dinner with either Bob Dylan or Michael Jordan. How do you respond?

politely decline.

...blow up France. How do you respond?

cheer and throw a party!!!!

...tie you to a treadmill that powers the electrical system in my house. How do you respond?

run backwards to suck the energy OUT of your house.


PREUSSEN LEBT NOCH!

Nec Aspera Terrent