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I have a fiancee like that. Joel Send a noteboard - 12/01/2011 02:14:53 AM
My big life ambition is to be a mother and housewife, yet when I tell some women this, they look like I'm insane and tell me that I am allowed a career.

To those women I say this: freedom of choice in this realm of life also means the choice to stay at home and raise a family.

It's crazy how that choice is looked down on today.

I think it's more of a problem this side of the Pond, though it's certainly common enough in the States. Economics means it's likely to remain a hypothetical question for the foreseeable future, but I can't count how many times she's lamented how she made some off hand comment about the desirability of being a domestic mom and the women around her looked at her like she'd sprouted a third eye. That's not to say there shouldn't be a professional dimension as well, or that she doesn't desire it, but it seems almost a given that we'd both prefer a balance: Even were it possible for one of us to work full time while the other stayed home keeping house and raising kids, we'd both prefer to work part time and share domestic joys and duties. That would be a lot less monolithic, enrich both our lives more, and is the long term goal; now it's just a matter of getting there....
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Looks like the feminist movement wasn't as successful as it appears - 11/01/2011 06:21:01 PM 2342 Views
I think you're extrapolating a bit too much - 11/01/2011 06:45:38 PM 1404 Views
I don't trust the figures. - 11/01/2011 06:50:24 PM 1414 Views
While I don't 100% agree with the article, some feminists annoy me no end. - 11/01/2011 06:47:03 PM 1464 Views
My wife told me just this weekend I need to stop pressuring her to have a career - 11/01/2011 06:52:11 PM 1415 Views
Re: My wife told me just this weekend I need to stop pressuring her to have a career - 12/01/2011 01:36:14 AM 1403 Views
Yeah, got one like that, too. - 12/01/2011 02:17:17 AM 1420 Views
yeah prett much anything gross that isn't in a diaper is my job - 12/01/2011 05:12:11 AM 1351 Views
It's not just that choice though. - 11/01/2011 07:12:48 PM 1486 Views
It feels more hypocritical coming from feminists than "traditionalists". *NM* - 11/01/2011 07:17:24 PM 779 Views
For you maybe. - 11/01/2011 07:27:52 PM 1401 Views
there is definitely some SAHM snobbery - 11/01/2011 08:43:21 PM 1398 Views
Well. - 11/01/2011 09:34:42 PM 1434 Views
I agree. I would also like to add, if I may... - 12/01/2011 01:27:59 AM 1416 Views
all 25 of them? - 12/01/2011 05:14:56 AM 1371 Views
Pffft, look it up a bit. You might find info on the national propaganda radio (NPR) site. - 12/01/2011 12:47:33 PM 1424 Views
It's a difficult dynamic even under the best of circumstances, when both partners have chosen it. - 12/01/2011 02:25:20 PM 1271 Views
I agree, it's very difficult. - 12/01/2011 03:14:59 PM 1303 Views
it is nuanced - 12/01/2011 03:06:39 PM 1342 Views
Re: it is nuanced - 12/01/2011 04:58:36 PM 1341 Views
You are spot on. As usual. About everything. *NM* - 12/01/2011 01:42:18 AM 825 Views
- 12/01/2011 02:25:59 PM 1334 Views
I have to admit that this bothers me. - 11/01/2011 07:33:09 PM 1459 Views
I don't expect people to understand my choice necessarily. - 11/01/2011 09:36:52 PM 1442 Views
In addition... - 12/01/2011 05:39:25 PM 1311 Views
I guess you think the same of me then. - 11/01/2011 09:48:31 PM 1291 Views
Another one? - 12/01/2011 06:01:43 AM 1331 Views
Re: Another one? - 12/01/2011 12:33:58 PM 1345 Views
~never mind~ *NM* *NM* - 12/01/2011 04:42:47 PM 884 Views
I'm going to answer you anyway. - 12/01/2011 04:54:18 PM 1416 Views
not to mention - 12/01/2011 05:11:42 PM 1380 Views
In addition - 12/01/2011 05:23:25 PM 1308 Views
you don't want kids? - 12/01/2011 05:46:25 PM 1303 Views
bleck - 12/01/2011 11:14:25 PM 1324 Views
again not the vibe I get from you - 12/01/2011 11:38:26 PM 1296 Views
Hehe. - 13/01/2011 12:15:06 AM 1340 Views
Not selfish. - 13/01/2011 02:45:43 AM 1338 Views
You don't have to be a doctor to contribute to the world - 12/01/2011 05:27:26 PM 1379 Views
Poor Aeryn - 12/01/2011 05:29:47 PM 1299 Views
I replied before she edited - 12/01/2011 05:41:53 PM 1253 Views
Am I at least absolved from having to respond? - 15/01/2011 06:11:27 AM 1363 Views
Certainly. *NM* - 15/01/2011 09:40:09 AM 818 Views
The primary issue... - 12/01/2011 05:52:42 PM 1304 Views
*NM* - 12/01/2011 05:54:29 PM 747 Views
What Rebekah said... - 15/01/2011 07:55:34 PM 1309 Views
Me too! - 11/01/2011 09:43:57 PM 1379 Views
Re: Me too! - 12/01/2011 01:23:39 AM 1390 Views
I have a fiancee like that. - 12/01/2011 02:14:53 AM 1296 Views
I feel so fortunate to be a stay at home mom. - 12/01/2011 11:32:37 PM 1291 Views
My commentary on the whys and wherefores of this stuff would be way too politically incorrect - 11/01/2011 07:56:24 PM 1460 Views
I think all of that makes sense - 11/01/2011 08:36:39 PM 1341 Views
In this particular case I don't disagree with you. - 11/01/2011 09:28:13 PM 1276 Views
I'm not sure why either sex should surpass the other in math. - 12/01/2011 02:34:09 AM 1258 Views
men have more physical strength period - 12/01/2011 05:30:14 AM 1294 Views
There's a lot more to running (especially marathons) then leg strength. - 12/01/2011 05:41:11 AM 1315 Views
When you talk about reasons men "should" be better at math - 12/01/2011 03:47:53 PM 1336 Views
Re: When you talk about reasons men "should" be better at math - 12/01/2011 04:32:38 PM 1217 Views
Re: When you talk about reasons men "should" be better at math - 12/01/2011 04:41:42 PM 1317 Views
Both, really; the latter is a consequence of the former. - 12/01/2011 05:21:28 PM 1209 Views
I'm trying to understand your position - 12/01/2011 05:28:43 PM 1297 Views
try string theory, it makes more sense than Joel logic - 12/01/2011 05:57:27 PM 1212 Views
Now you've got it. - 12/01/2011 06:40:50 PM 1376 Views
Okay, that's fair. *NM* - 12/01/2011 06:42:30 PM 713 Views
Glad we were able to reach an understanding. - 13/01/2011 10:02:47 PM 1259 Views
Re: I'm trying to understand your position - 13/01/2011 08:12:05 PM 1314 Views
we know the brain of women works differently then the brains of men - 12/01/2011 05:40:15 PM 1334 Views
What evidence I'm aware of seems inconclusive. - 12/01/2011 06:46:50 PM 1164 Views
here is some evdience to argue that it is not society but biology - 13/01/2011 08:43:43 PM 1331 Views
I think you did like I always do and forgot to give us a way to click your link. - 13/01/2011 09:56:52 PM 1330 Views
oops - 13/01/2011 10:07:55 PM 1341 Views
Seems like that's an argument for both views, in a way. - 13/01/2011 11:14:11 PM 1229 Views
You can use anything to prove what you want if you are willing to spin it hard enough - 14/01/2011 02:57:29 PM 1502 Views
I used YOUR article to "prove" what it says outright. - 15/01/2011 05:35:27 PM 1426 Views
I would also like to say this: - 11/01/2011 09:33:23 PM 1298 Views
Of course - 12/01/2011 01:47:14 AM 1334 Views
Re: Of course - 12/01/2011 04:57:11 PM 1321 Views
"Night" is also almost invariably feminine, in my experience. - 12/01/2011 07:58:12 PM 1344 Views
Re: "Night" is also almost invariably feminine, in my experience. - 12/01/2011 08:15:59 PM 1335 Views
It's true for Arabic and hence, one suspects, Hebrew. - 13/01/2011 07:43:21 PM 1241 Views
I'm glad YOU think it's fun... - 13/01/2011 10:05:07 PM 1302 Views
Re: I would also like to say this: - 12/01/2011 09:15:28 AM 1344 Views
Re: I would also like to say this: - 12/01/2011 12:27:14 PM 1324 Views
No - 12/01/2011 12:28:48 PM 1225 Views
Re: No - 12/01/2011 12:35:56 PM 1195 Views
Re: No - 12/01/2011 12:37:33 PM 1308 Views
Re: No - 12/01/2011 12:43:36 PM 1303 Views
Re: No - 12/01/2011 12:47:56 PM 1338 Views
Since this has become too complicated - 12/01/2011 12:54:54 PM 1344 Views
Re: Since this has become too complicated - 12/01/2011 12:56:20 PM 1357 Views
Re: Since this has become too complicated - 12/01/2011 04:55:50 PM 1264 Views
The two are used as different psychological concepts. - 12/01/2011 02:24:58 PM 1284 Views
Again, used incorrectly. - 12/01/2011 03:34:22 PM 1268 Views
Re: Again, used incorrectly. - 12/01/2011 04:00:59 PM 1344 Views
Exactly. *NM* - 12/01/2011 04:53:03 PM 741 Views
It really doesn't surprise me - 12/01/2011 12:36:19 AM 1305 Views
Have you left a memo at the Feminist Movement's Office? - 12/01/2011 12:46:45 AM 1343 Views
Actually, the feminist movement was completely successful. - 12/01/2011 01:42:44 AM 1334 Views
Well put. *NM* - 12/01/2011 02:10:56 AM 720 Views
I was playing a bit but I agree that the feminist in the past accomplished a lot - 12/01/2011 05:34:04 AM 1338 Views
NOW is just a left-leaning PAC. - 12/01/2011 03:16:52 PM 1297 Views
Now if only others were so rational about it. - 17/01/2011 05:55:57 AM 2488 Views
Nevermind, Tom beat me to it. - 12/01/2011 01:54:07 AM 1271 Views
Mmm. I don't think you understand the feminist movement. You have been reading to many things - 12/01/2011 01:56:20 AM 1340 Views
I was refering to groups like NOW - 12/01/2011 05:40:46 AM 1285 Views
Gotcha. - 12/01/2011 11:53:29 PM 1248 Views
I was being a tad bit trollish with my title - 13/01/2011 01:47:30 AM 1235 Views
I'm not sure that follows, at all. - 12/01/2011 02:06:41 AM 1221 Views
they never mention their study methods - 12/01/2011 02:14:15 PM 1307 Views
Gosh, look what you started. - 12/01/2011 03:00:23 PM 1318 Views
somebody need to start something it is pretty dead around here *NM* - 12/01/2011 03:16:54 PM 760 Views
Seriously *NM* - 12/01/2011 09:56:56 PM 728 Views
I agree that it would be awesome to hang with my kid every day and not have to work. - 12/01/2011 11:33:25 PM 1358 Views
that part would be great - 12/01/2011 11:40:49 PM 1314 Views
I could do it every day. - 13/01/2011 12:52:56 AM 1249 Views
Me too... - 13/01/2011 02:45:49 PM 1353 Views
So here's the question. Why don't men have a "choice" to opt-out? - 15/01/2011 06:13:28 AM 1318 Views
They do. - 15/01/2011 09:42:29 AM 1248 Views
read further up the thread - 15/01/2011 10:49:08 AM 1372 Views
I really wish that were more socially acceptable. - 15/01/2011 07:58:57 PM 1377 Views
I feel I have that choice. - 16/01/2011 12:08:48 AM 1308 Views
They most certainly do. - 18/01/2011 04:39:09 PM 1404 Views
This sounds awful to me. - 13/01/2011 04:27:08 AM 1312 Views
Re: This sounds awful to me. - 14/01/2011 02:47:36 AM 1324 Views
Yikes. - 14/01/2011 11:13:39 PM 1302 Views

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