They've given up on the little, pointless arguments about making the other one do something they have no interest in doing.
I don't think there's any sense in having pointless arguments. However, I think that spending a holiday with a relative doesn't necessarily fall into a category of complete meaninglessness. That's more like arguing over not putting on the toothpaste cap, or who should take out the trash. Of course, we'd probably have to know how the question was asked. E.g. she could have said: "I'm going to my mum's for Easter, want to come along?" Which is very different from the scenario I'm envisioning. And of course, we're not even thinking about the mum herself. She might be a right horror.
Of course a relationship also consist of compromises and doing things for each other, as you say. Maybe this just isn't the best example. I am sure he does plenty of things for her he doesn't feel like doing.
Admittedly, I get the impression that he doesn't go out of his way to do nice things for her, that would make her feel appreciated and special. He generally speaks of her in a slightly condescending way.
To stick to this example, why would couples have to do everything together anyway?
I don't recall saying that couples need to do everything together? I think that's unhealthy. But there's a difference between doing things separately, and not doing something together your partner has asked you to do together.
Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down?
- 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM
2115 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but...
- 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM
1239 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM*
- 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM
612 Views
inlaws are not always bad
- 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM
1162 Views
I think they are right
- 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM
1366 Views
I see your point
- 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM
1338 Views
Re: I think they are right
- 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM
1214 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption.
- 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM
1127 Views
What he said about his wife's mother
- 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM
1281 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels.
- 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM
1044 Views
No offense...
- 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM
1278 Views
yes but have you found such a thing?
- 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM
1206 Views
For now I have
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
612 Views
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
612 Views
how long has it been? *NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM
606 Views
Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges.
- 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM
1217 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM
1213 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM
1177 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM
1224 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with.
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
588 Views
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
588 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM*
- 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM
559 Views
I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but
- 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM
1331 Views
that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it"
*NM*
- 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
555 Views
*NM*
- 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
555 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
- 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM
1324 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have
- 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM
1136 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married
- 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM
1204 Views
How did things change?
- 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM
1211 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this.
- 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM
1317 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself
- 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM
1213 Views
I know.
- 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM
1423 Views
Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
- 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM
1114 Views
From the information that you have presented...
- 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM
1372 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian.
- 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM
1141 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future)
- 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM
1208 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am.
- 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM
1192 Views
Could go either way.
- 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM
1157 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa
- 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM
1173 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce.
- 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM
1139 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family
- 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM
1162 Views
I think this is about priorities.
- 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM
1318 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families.
- 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
1146 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them
- 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM
1172 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way.
- 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM
1180 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes"
- 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM
1140 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies)
- 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM
1208 Views
