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Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai Send a noteboard - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM
It might mean more to him not to have to go than it does to her to have him go (if that makes sense)

It made sense to me. ;)


Oh good :D

My only question there is if it was so important to him to not go, why didn't he say so instead of going with the cop-out "I'll think about it" line? Would you not be more willing to accept an honest answer you didn't like than for your husband to try and dodge the bullet entirely? I know my wife would, with me.


I would absolutely prefer it. But if every time I got an honest answer I went all screeching-howler-monkey on him about it, I couldn't really blame him for trying to avoid that while still not committing to doing something he really didn't want to do.

I have a feeling I'm getting too involved with this discussion, though: as you said, only the man and his wife truly know the status of their relationship. But on the other hand, I'm surrounded by middle-aged female co-workers who gripe about their husbands all the time, and how clueless they typically are. ;) :P


Ugh, I can't stand husband bashing (or wife bashing for that matter, but the former seems much more common). I always have to bite back the "if he's that awful why on earth are you staying with him" response because I understand it's a typical female social bonding exercise. It's just one I abhor and refuse to participate in.
If you are from Betelgeuse, please have one of your Earth friends read what I've written before you respond. Or try concentrating harder.

"The trophy problem has become extreme."
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Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down? Helene - 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM 2302 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but... Urza - 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM 1415 Views
Fair enough Helene - 19/04/2011 10:01:51 AM 1370 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM 712 Views
inlaws are not always bad random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM 1347 Views
I spend way more time with my in-laws than with my own family. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:17:41 PM 1318 Views
I'm like this with my future in-laws too. *NM* Clover - 19/04/2011 04:47:05 PM 681 Views
I think they are right ironclad - 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM 1539 Views
I see your point Helene - 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM 1518 Views
Re: I think they are right Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM 1433 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM 1308 Views
What he said about his wife's mother Helene - 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM 1459 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM 1217 Views
No offense... ironclad - 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM 1450 Views
yes but have you found such a thing? random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM 1384 Views
For now I have *NM* ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM 708 Views
how long has it been? *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM 705 Views
Don't try to corrupt me with your long term pessimism ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:34:39 PM 1306 Views
sadly I seem attracted to the crazies *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:08:14 PM 667 Views
Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM 1403 Views
Could be either snoopcester - 19/04/2011 10:30:50 AM 1443 Views
True enough... Helene - 19/04/2011 10:44:28 AM 1399 Views
My opinion is the latter. Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:55:00 PM 1419 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM 1417 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Macharius - 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM 1359 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations snoopcester - 19/04/2011 02:13:25 PM 1490 Views
I should have read this first. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:25:16 PM 1414 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM 1420 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM 683 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM* Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM 677 Views
I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM 1501 Views
that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM* LadyLorraine - 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM 655 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM 1514 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have Helene - 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM 1316 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM 1398 Views
How did things change? Helene - 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM 1444 Views
Like I said I can only speak for myself random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:54:04 PM 1401 Views
There's already a 10 year old in the picture for us Helene - 19/04/2011 06:52:44 PM 1394 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM 1513 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself random thoughts - 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM 1428 Views
I know. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM 1649 Views
Sorry for some reason I thought you had just got married. random thoughts - 20/04/2011 09:52:24 PM 1843 Views
Good luck to them! *NM* rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:25:38 AM 694 Views
Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot Tihs Tnuc - 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM 1286 Views
From the information that you have presented... Jeordam - 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM 1532 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian. Helene - 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM 1332 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future) Jeordam - 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM 1384 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am. Helene - 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM 1370 Views
Could go either way. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM 1335 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa Helene - 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM 1364 Views
Giving up is one thing, growing past is another. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 10:00:55 PM 1319 Views
Oh, to be fair, he's the friend and she's the wife Helene - 20/04/2011 08:43:12 AM 1250 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce. Clover - 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM 1338 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family random thoughts - 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM 1350 Views
I think this is about priorities. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM 1518 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families. Clover - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM 1324 Views
Even when younger, I was independent. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 05:29:59 AM 1272 Views
*nods* Clover - 20/04/2011 06:25:29 AM 1398 Views
rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:29:32 AM 1590 Views
Not the former for sure, and maybe not the latter. Palatine - 19/04/2011 05:55:03 PM 1388 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM 1358 Views
Can't tell. nossy - 19/04/2011 10:04:27 PM 1333 Views
I'm with the 'can't tell' crowd. Antigone - 19/04/2011 11:37:17 PM 1747 Views
hell, or she could just not care too much at all LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 11:43:21 PM 1326 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM 1351 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes" Helene - 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM 1310 Views
That would still be a deal breaker for me. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 11:49:09 PM 1323 Views
I'm leaning more towards your interpretation. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 20/04/2011 02:15:22 AM 651 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies) Vivien - 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM 1391 Views
I'm with you on this. *NM* Camilla - 20/04/2011 10:00:41 AM 734 Views
*sigh* Yunalesca - 20/04/2011 09:25:02 PM 1456 Views
Re: I mean, it's not good. *NM* Gaps - 20/04/2011 11:50:21 PM 637 Views
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