However, I thought that I should write it anyways. I read your post last night, but I was unsure of what to say. So I thought on it, and it appears that things have progressed rather quickly since then. I haven't gone through the entire thread, so I'm not sure what has been said. From the content of your edit, it appears that you are unsatisfied. When I read your post, several different thoughts, attitudes, emotions, and what not were triggered. I've learned through my years that those thoughts, attitudes, and emotions are what I feel, but not necessarily what you feel...or how you want to feel. So this is my thought on your post.

You say that you love you wife. I believe you. I get the feeling that you are uncomfortable with ending that relationship, or telling her where you are at. Some think that you should tell her, while some think that you shouldn't. Without knowing you in real life, and knowing her, I'm not sure if I could legitimately make a call (provide advise).

My advise is this. If you want to stay with your wife, find a way to capture that same excitement, that same magic, that same intangible quality which you find elsewhere. To do otherwise is, in my opinion, a disservice to you both. I believe that there is a way to capture that same excitement...that same thing you're looking for while being with your wife. There is always a way.

Good Luck. I hope that you find a path to take...as it seems that being in that middle ground is not a healthy place for you to be.

~Jeordam