So let me set the stage right here. I didn't believe her. I didn't believe him. I only believe facts. This is especially true with something that was supposed to take place 36 years ago...where she was drunk. The time differential and the admitted mindset already make me prone to not-believe her even more. So let's make it personal where let's say she was a family member or a loved one. I will listen to her story with empathy. I will actively listen to what she has to say. However, I won't say I believe her. Why? Because the emotion of the situation is not a factor which has weight with me. Is this because I'm a cold hearted bastard? shrug Maybe. Is this because of the lifetime of training in the scientific world where facts outweigh everything else? Maybe. Is it because I'm a man and she's a woman? Absolutely not. Why? Because that thought is based upon misogynistic belief...which is emotional, not factual.
I would actually challenge this statement. Confronting one's abuser is not a necessary step to healing. Why? Because that would mean that for each and every situation where the abuser was not able to be confronted, that the victim would not be able to find healing. This is not the case. This is why I think that the entire #Metoo movement is ultimately doomed. Why? Because these woman haven't found healing. Proof of this assertion? The anger they still feel is openly displayed. Their trauma is still a defining characteristic of their life. Their pain, anger, heartache, etc. is still a cornerstone in their life. That event is a fundamental object in which their life orbits.
I didn't read your edit. I didn't see it until a little while ago. I get what you're saying....that the innocent until proven guilty has to work for her too. I agree. The circumstantial aspect of her accusation is actively working against her. Did she lie to intentionally harm him? Unknown. Do I find it plausible? Yes. Do the circumstances logically lead to this assertion? Yes. Is it provable in a court of law? Not unless there's an e-mail/recording or something. So then it's all up to public opinion. If that's the case, then it cuts both ways...it's already cut him.
~Jeordam
Saving the Princess, Humanity, or the World-Entire since 1985