I was talking with a friend about how his relationship with his wife has changed over time. How expectations when you just start out differ from when you first move in together, to now, where he felt that their expectation levels were far more compatible and therefore their relationship has really taken a turn for the positive.

As an example, he mentioned this past weekend. His wife had asked him if he wanted to go with her to her mother for Easter. He replied: "I'll think about it." Her response was that she said she'll just go on her own.

The improvement he saw here was that in the past, his response would have led to an argument. His stance in the argument was also clear from what he mentioned, namely: "I didn't say I wouldn't go, I said I'd think about it." So to his thinking, their expectation levels are more in sync, which shows the relationship is better.

To me it sounds a lot more like his wife has given up on trying to get him to come along, i.e. their expectation levels aren't more in sync, but she's simply given up on this part of their relationship.

Now I have a very different type of relationship from him. It would never occur to either my fiancé or me to not go to family when it's important for the other person. So my friend's response to his wife would have been utterly bewildering to me. A big part of a relationship to me is doing things for each other, because they are important to my partner, and my fiancé feels the same way.

So perhaps my views that this is a sign of a break down is simply caused by my different perspective on relationships. What do you think? Do you think that my friend's relationship has improved as he thinks, or do you think that it's a sign of his wife giving up on parts of their relationship, potentially leading to an eventual breakdown?