Our attitude toward our relationship changed after we got married even though we had been living like we were married for years. We started taking it more seriously. There was more security but also more complaisance. I take marriage very seriously and I think you should be expected to do whatever you can to make marriage work and you don't get to bail just because you are bored or unhappy. That changed the way look at my wife and even the way I felt about her. I felt a responsibility for her wellbeing and happiness that hadn't really had before. When we dated and she didn't have money for something she wanted I cared but now I feel like it is my fault when she can't have what she wants, and it is. I also get more jealous and feel I have more right to tell her what I do or don't want her to do. Don't get more wrong my wife doesn't do what I tell her and she is more likely to put her foot down and demand I don't something than I am with her but we both felt we had more right to make such demands after we were married.

Think about it this way. When we were just living together if I had wanted to take a two week trip to Alaska and she didn't like I would have listened to her considered her objections and then done what I wanted. Now I wouldn't go unless I could get her to agree to it. I know it is easy to blow off all that two become one crap but making a lifetime commitment to each other can and should change the relationship and it gives both of you the right to makes denmands that people just living together don't get to make.

And about the time you get used to the new relationship you have kids and the level of commitment goes up another order of magnitude. I don't think a man looks at the mother of his daughter the same way he looks at his fiancé and if they have a healthy relationship that isn't a bad thing.